Friday, December 07, 2007

Heeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

'K, so the ongoing battle to get over my shyness with the nice Borders people continues. I so know you can't believe I'm shy, but dude's, this is faaa-reea-kin' me out. I have never in my life been so nervous--like not even when I thought I'd lost the Miss Dobson Dodge crown to that cheap MaryBeth Whateverhernamewas who's hair was bigger than mine.

No, I'm kidding. Not about the nervous, but definitely about MaryBeth. She was lovely :)

Anyway, I strive to overcome my pathetic-ness. And I have just one thing to say before I go any further. This is HARD work. I seriously had no clue authors did this. I can't ever remember seeing a book with one of those gold stickers on it that says "Signed by Author" -- like nevah. Either that or I just didn't pay close enough attention. I was hip to the book signing thing, but this -- this -- well, this I was totally out of the loop on. I truly didn't now a whole lot about NY publishing on the whole to begin with, but WHO KNEW? And don't get me wrong, I'm all about showing my appreciation. I'd just really like to pay someone to show it for me because I'm a wreck.

Yet, I persevere.

Tonight I decided I REALLY need me some Dean Koontz and he does have that new hardcover out. I didn't buy it last week because I was still recovering from my bout with the lovely Borders cashier and the stupidity only I can create.

However, it would seem I made an impression.

Tonight I was back at the mall to meet my man for some viddles and Dean called to me. Yeah, it's hardcover, but if I were in hardcover I'd want Dean to buy me. Just sayin'. Not that he would, but if he could feel my love, he might reconsider. Or label me stalker.

Anyhoodles, I slink back into the Borders and zip behind a rack because I've made an utter ass outta myself once -- there's no need to hit replay.

and then
out of the blue
I hear...

"Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Dakota! How's it rockin'?"

Okay, so I have two options--make like the Borders guy (who, if you'll recall, really works at Starbucks) is talking to the voices in his head -- or pretend I'm deaf.

However, the lovely Borders guy is truly an angel and I opt to wave and smile. Because I'm a tard and I have nothing to say. Like my throat is constricting. Really...

But out of the corner of my eye I DO see a book with the autographed by the author thing on it IN the romance section and I decide that my friend Michele Bardsley isn't just in this "stock signing" thing for the free meals and product I so lovingly supply my friends with when guesting at Casa Cassidy.

It really DOES happen. Other authors really DO sign stock. I'm now motivated to do this thang.

Until I get to the counter to pay, that is...

I go to purchase Dean and the very pretty girl asks if I have a Borders card. Can you even believe my world is SO small that I don't? But this is a perfect opener for me to intro myself, no?

Using my amazing superpower for witty convo, I say, "Why, no. No, I don't. However, I should because I is a writer and I have a book coming out in Feb." For which the lovely Borders employee gives me the "gasp" look, but refrains from calling me a dumb ass and says I'll get ten percent off Dean if I fill out a card AND, how exciting that I wrote a book.

So I meekly ask if she's the manager. IN fact, I crossed my fingers and toes that she was.
And she says no.

You know, crap if I can get this right. Could I maybe just catch a break so as not to further humiliate myself? But she says the manager is right in the back, and she'll grab her for me. To which I silently scream (I think. It's vague), nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

But I compose myself and get yon shit together and say, "No, no. Really. She's probably busy. I'll be back in again and I'll find her then."

And she nods her head and I leave with 10% off Dean -- who so rocks -- and the NAME of the manager. Don't ever let anyone tell you I can't work under pressure. Snort.

By God, by the time this book comes out I'll have maybe, sorta, in some roundabout, osmosis-ish kinda way have actually INTRODUCED myself to her.

OY.

Dakota :)

12 Comments:

  • At 7:00 AM, Anonymous Becky said…

    Persevere...yes you do. And you're getting better at it each time. WTH? you say? This time you didn't do some run on sentence till you're out of breath thing. And, as a perk, you didn't pull an MJ and vomit behind a clearance rack somewhere. (Not that she's done that but the possibility is there) Keep at it girl!

     
  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger Erin the Innocent said…

    I'm so happy that you got a name. Now you need to GO to the store when Ms Manager is actually there and TALK to her. lol

     
  • At 10:50 AM, Blogger Robin Snodgrass said…

    Keep at it Dakota! You'll get her in your pocket as soon as she gets to know you! Who wouldn't love you? Hmmm?

    Plus, book store employees and managers can be wonderful friends to have! Two of my close friends work at the local bookstore and they ALWAYS hold back books that they know I'll love. That way I don't miss out on my favorites. They already know that I BETTER get the first copy of your book the day it comes out! *G*

    You just persevere and it will work out for you!

     
  • At 1:31 PM, Anonymous ~Linda~ said…

    Sooooooooooo close. Next time will be the ticket!! You will sooo walk in to the border **card in hand** And boldly ask for the Manager (free pens in hand nothing says Hi.. to the retail employee like free swag)
    YOU CAN DO IT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Huggs

     
  • At 9:56 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Hurling behind the clearance rack... this COULD happen, Becks. In fact, I'll bring breath mints and paper towels next time just in case. LOL

    OKay, so assignment for next week is to go stalk the Borders people and actually SPEAK to them.

    OKay, I need to man-up. Seriously, once the initial intro is over, I don't have to do it again, right? Like book two should be easy peasy because they'll already know me...

    Oh.
    God.

    DC :)

     
  • At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Becky said…

    Should we come down there and go with? You know......like an entourage or "your people".

     
  • At 10:56 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LMAO--MY PEOPLE. Actually, Ter and Michele and my bud, Renee are all coming to spend the week with me and help. It'll be like a party--or a hazing, I'm not sure which...

    In fact, it was Michele's idea, which leads me to believe she's in it for the free meals. LMAO

    I mock because I love.

    DC :)

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Anonymous Becky said…

    If Michele is coming might I suggest going to your local Walgreens or CVS and stocking up on supplies? You know, those little things like razors, soap, shampoo, combs, etc. Oh, and one or two extra trash cans for the upstairs bathroom. (or at least toss a trash bag in the bathroom and then they can haul it downstairs before they leave.) :-)

     
  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    What the hell is wrong with you. You were already there and uncomfortable. You should have just sucked it up and got it over with.

    and of course I am coming for the free food !

     
  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Brandy said…

    Soooo close, but not quite. I bet next time will go even better! Good luck!

     
  • At 9:58 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Oh, Becky, I'm sooooooo on the toiletries. LOL

    And thanks, Brandy, I appreciate the kind words :)

    And Ter? You LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm warming, I tell ya. WARMING. LOL

    DC :)

     
  • At 6:26 AM, Blogger Terri said…

    Yes I know Dakota and I am VERY proud of you. : )

     

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