Saturday, September 01, 2007

Hi - Jacking for Michelle Hoppe

Okay, I realize I'm late to the party, however I must set the record straight:

1. Yes I do snore. I have never denied it, but Ter is correct, that cat is wayyyyyyyyyy LOUD!

2. The only reason we were out buying my booze, leaving Rob to clean up the mess is because ya’ll done forgot to get it the day before or some such excuse, therefore requiring poor Franc to find a liquor store in the middle of friggin nowhere, which delayed our arrival home by about an hour. If you had purchased said booze in advance of my arrival as planned, you and Ter would have been home in time to assist poor Rob in the clean up.

3. I was not a wimp – did I not swim? YES, yes I did. Not only did I swim, I invited my sister to visit with us and demanded that she bring her swim suit to assist in Dakota’s campaign to ‘get her monies worth’. My sister, trooper that she is, donned said bathing suit before the required one hour had elapsed after eating and took the plunge. Well her toes did anyway -- so it counts! As for Ter using the pool more often – she arrived two or three days before me (at least one) therefore she had more time to use the pool.

4. I put the friggin sun screen on damn it, so stop bitchin! I returned to Washington tanless thanks to all the damn sunscreen I slathered on.

5. Dakota is right about not having to ‘walk the dogs’. There is a big backyard, however it’s a little more complex than simply opening the door and letting them out. Wait did I say a little? Let me explain and you all be the judge:

a. Take diapers off Milo and Mike
b. Open door and wait for all dogs to exit while keeping foot in place to prevent cat from escaping. Once dogs have exited, quickly pull foot out of the way while praying cat doesn’t get past you and Wensday, poor blind baby hasn’t fallen in the pool yet.
c. As each dog goes to their own area of the yard (which is L shaped), pace in front of pool to prevent any accidental dips by said dogs.
d. While attempting to keep on eye on several areas at once, leave post by pool to open door for dog number one, who has finished its business and is now demanding to be let back inside where it is cool. (Why didn’t she spend a few extra bucks and get a doggie pool installed?)
e. Rush back to post at pool-side, scanning waters surface for possible ripples, while attempting to locate all the other dogs who have now hidden behind (pick one) flower pot, bushes, tall grass in the corner, that little tree with the yellow flowers.
f. Continue moving between back door and pool until all dogs have returned to the house.
g. Wait fifteen minutes - repeat again and again and again and again, well you get the picture.

On my next visit I want a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle.

6. I cooked twice, thank you very much.

7. While Dakota insists the sun is only two feet up and it’s an illusion that it is further away, it’s not true. I have done the research and the distance from Tex-ASS to the sun is 37 feet 6 inches. Next time I’m using less sunscreen damn it. I want a tan!

8. Ter is correct on the bathroom sharing. I’m the one who didn’t have to share. It’s because she loves me best ~smiles~.

9. The truth is Dakota likes to cook, but you didn’t hear that from me ~shhhhhh~.

10. I learned long ago to pack large quantities of tissue for the eventual departure from Casa Cassidy. While I’ll admit to tears of my own, they are a small stream in comparison to the Nile my dear friend Dakota gushes when time forces me to return home.

11. I can not confirm or deny the existence of excessive hamburger helper as the pantry is a vast waste land that I avoid ~smiles~.

Since Dakota has allowed me to hi-jack her blog to set the record straight, I’ll kick in something for the contest. Anyone who posts a note telling Dakota to get me a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle before my next visit will be entered to win a download of any Dakota Cassidy book ~wink~! Lets see how long it takes her to catch this LMAO!

Michelle Hoppe aka Double L

44 Comments:

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    LMAO !!!!

    Oh how I miss my Double L !

     
  • At 8:11 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    ~smiles~ as i miss you, darlin. btw i like this blog hi-jacking thing. maybe next i'll take over yours!

     
  • At 8:15 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    I would be more than happy to post ANYTHING you like on my Blog... "Us Little People" would be honored :)

     
  • At 8:16 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    LOL, oh babe, you may regret the offer, but how can I resist.

     
  • At 8:25 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    As Dakota would say NEVAH

     
  • At 8:27 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    ~smiles~ I shall fire up the keyboard. More blog hi-jinx coming to a blog near you soon!

     
  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    COOL !!!

     
  • At 8:45 PM, Blogger Bonita said…

    I can not confirm or deny the existence of excessive hamburger helper as the panty is a vast waste land that I avoid ~smiles~.

    The PANTY is a vast waste land????? Okay, but I am not sure I wish to touch this statement. LOL

    The blogs have kept me in stiches today. Thanks

     
  • At 9:14 PM, Blogger Erin the Innocent said…

    I think the lifeguard t-shirt should have glitta on it.

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    OH GREAT idea Erin !

     
  • At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Sheryl said…

    Maybe the lifeguard shirt should be yellow? LOLOLOL!!!! Oh and how could I forget glitter *grin*

    I loved both blogs, oh and Michelle, seeing as you snore that would drown out the cat.

    Oh and Kota, love the pic of your house and pool too. But I can understand everyone's wanting to stay inside....it's freakin' hot in the sun!!

    Loves ya's!

    Sheryl

     
  • At 10:42 PM, Blogger Amy said…

    Hee hee hee... Doggie Lifeguard Michelle! WooHOO!!!

     
  • At 10:44 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Oy's Bonita, I seem to have forgotten de 'R'. Twas supposed to say pantry.

    Ter are you there? Can you find my missing R?

    Glad we gave you a laugh, darlin.

     
  • At 10:45 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Ohhhhhhh Erin, that is a fab idea. Can it be black with hot pink glitta letters?

     
  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    OMG, not yellow, Sheryl!! And trust me darlin, nothing could drown out the sound that cat makes. Woke me out of a sound sleep more than once ~shaking head up and down~ yep, it did!

    Oh and freakin' hot is right

     
  • At 10:49 PM, Blogger Brandy said…

    OMgosh, y'all are hilarious. May I point out that black will attract more sun and therefor if in Texas will be extra HOT!?

     
  • At 10:50 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    LOLOLOL Amy, as long as I get the hot pink glitta I'll be happy.

     
  • At 10:53 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    ~smiles~ Thanks Brandy,

    I had not thought about black making it hotter. Let's make it a white tee with hot pink letters.

     
  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    Michelle I found your missing R :)

     
  • At 11:03 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    aaaiiiight, you bunch of smart asses. I, unlike SOME, have OTHER things to do tonight. Tee hee

    so tomorrow I shall be back--and you'd better gird your loins, ladies :)

    Everyone else--thank you SO much for popping by and saying hello. Thank you all for the kind words about the house and pool. I could never, ever do it without my mom and I'm so grateful to her.

    Until tomorrow... MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    DC :)

     
  • At 11:04 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    ~smiles~ you are the goddess, Ter, thank you!

     
  • At 11:07 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    "you'd better gird your loins, ladies"

    Where do I get a gird? Is that pork or do they make beef loins? How do you season that?

     
  • At 11:07 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    Dakota "gird your loins?" Can you explain this?

    Michelle - Not really a goddess, but Thanks for saying so anyway :)

     
  • At 3:59 AM, Blogger they60 said…

    Hey Dakote, sure you give Michelle a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle before her next visit.

    Love to read your books, please keep on writing.

     
  • At 8:54 AM, Blogger Suzette said…

    Seems you desrve a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle. Lots of work involved, I would want one too. LOL

     
  • At 9:55 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Hi They60 and Suzette,

    Glad you stopped by and thanks for voting for me to get the t-shirt and whislte ~smiles~

     
  • At 11:04 AM, Blogger Cathy said…

    What a hoot. You definitely deserve that Lifeguard shirt.

     
  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger Cynnara Tregarth said…

    OMG...not only a lifeguard shirt and whistle, but a freaking buoy to throw to block them all from converging on the area. Yipps! Sounds like you had a might fun time. LOLOL

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Estella said…

    This is hilarious--a lifeguard t-shirt and a whistle? How about everyone SITS AROUND the pool with a cool beverage and no one swims.
    Have a great weekend!

     
  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Hi Cathy, Cynnara and Estalla,

    Thanks for stopping by and voting. I can feel the cotton and almost see the glitta on my new t-shirt ~smiles~

     
  • At 5:56 PM, Blogger Daun Ann said…

    Kota, of course you must by Michelle the lifeguard bathing suit, t-shirt, whistle and flotie. She must be in TOTAL lifeguard regala to do her duties while your dogs do theirs.

    'Chelle, great hi-jacking.

     
  • At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Okay. I confess. Every night I put Bailey (...the cat) through a rigorous exercise and stretching program. Sure, he whines a little bit. But in the long run he'll thank me.

    ~R - The Champ :)

     
  • At 9:27 PM, Blogger readingissomuchfun said…

    LMAOROF I am loving this hijack you ladies are so funny. I am having a great time here and reading the Hijack postings LoL


    Hugssss
    LindaH

     
  • At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thats wgy it is always nice to have a back up plan. LOL!
    Hugs!
    Lisa

     
  • At 7:46 AM, Blogger Tami said…

    You ladies are hilarious! Thanks for the wonderful belly laughs. I love this hi-jacking the journal idea it’s so fun.

    I agree that Dakota should buy Michelle a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle. I’d even go so far to suggest she purchase a dogcatchers pole. Just to make the job a little easier on her guests. It sounds like a lot of work being a guest at Dakota’s house. Fun! However, very labor intensive. :)

     
  • At 8:34 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Hi Daun Ann, Do they make flotie's with glitta? Glad you enjoyed the hi-jacking. I think I'll do it more often ~grinz~

    ~R - The Champ, OMG he does not whinge a little, he howls like the hounds of hell are chasing him. Maybe you should try a different program.

    Hi Linda H, glad your enjoying the posts, hon.

    ~waving~ Hi Lisa, Back up plans are a must, Babe.

    Hi Tami, Glad you are enjoying the fun and thanks for the vote for the t-shirt and whistle.

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Alrighty, been a busy weekend, but I'm here, yet again to defend myself from these vipers. Honestly, the things I do...

    First, er, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I don't know the local hotspots for booze, you lush. I actually had to have Ter look on Franc to find it. This, I believe, shows just how pure and innocent I am. LOLLOL

    Second, had it not been for me, that lily white skin of yours would be crispy fried, honey. Like BACON in a frying pan. I'll take written apologies as a form of contrition. But they have to be hand addressed. Snort.

    Third, If you were more coordinated, you'd have had no problem letting the dogs out. I can't help you if you sadly lack the necessary skills to do two things at once. It's a gift. Tee hee

    Fourth, there is NO yellow tree in my backyard. Get ye to the eye-doctor :) Also, check your counting skills. Twice is not as many as four or five. If you'd just quit da booze... LOLLOL

    Fifth, Dakota does not like to cook--why do you think she complains about it so much? Duh!

    Sixth, I did not cry much this time when you left. Ask Ter. I got weepy--the Nile was reserved for the last time you left and I liked you a whole lot better because I didn't have to cook. neener, neener, neener.

    Seventh, Look here, Baywatch babe, there will be NO whistles. I know you and a little power with a title attached to it, honey. not gonna happen :)

    And finally, thanks all for coming out and posting! It's been a blast :)


    Dakota :)

     
  • At 12:39 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    LMAO - Don't worry Double L I will get you a FABULOUS Glittery Shirt and a whistle before our next trip :)

     
  • At 1:37 PM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Did you hear that Ter? She called us vipers, honestly ~shaking head~.

    First, let's talk booze, shall we? It was not my plan for you to purchase said booze before my arrival, it was yours!! So don't go crying me a river because you didn't get it done. Personally, I think it was a plot to avoid trash duty.

    Second, if you hadn't forced me out into the blazing hot sun in the first place, I wouldn't have needed sun screen ;)p

    Third, it was not a lack of coordination. It's difficult to do said task in a ladylike manner however, I succeeded.

    Fourth, okay, so the flowers are purple, sue me! LOL. Also, my counting skills are just fine babe. You said "Michelle cooked ONCE. ONCE. Me--waaaayyyy more." I simply stated that I'd cook twice. LOLLOL

    Fifth, I stand by my original statement -- you do like to cook!!

    Sixth, if you say so ~grinz~

    Seventh, see Ter's post. I don't need you to get me the t-shirt and whistle!! LOLOL

     
  • At 1:53 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    Yeah I heard and and she is SOO full of SHIT. She still keeps asking me to come back and visit. I mean if I am such a horrible guest WHY does she want me back??

     
  • At 8:41 PM, Blogger kinky courtesan said…

    LIFE GUARD SHIRT, WHISTLE, AND BOOGIE BOARD! do i win?

     
  • At 12:09 AM, Blogger foxyllady said…

    Loretta shaking her head and lol over all these post here. Michelle you and Terri must of had a great time at Dakota's. Please get Michelle a white T-shirt with pink glitter on it and please whistle before she comes back again.

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Oh, a boogie board, thanks for the idea, Kinky Courtesan. I don't know if you win yet, cause Ter isn't picking the winners until Wednesday, I think, hey Ter, when are you picking the winners?

    Hi Foxyllady,

    We did have a lot of fun. I always do when Dakota and I get together ~smiles~

     
  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger readingissomuchfun said…

    Hi Michelle,

    I sure am enjoying your welcome. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time until I came here on this blog and see what has been happening. I love it here & I will be coming back again & again :-) All I can say is keep up the great/funny posts loving it :) You ladies are a funny & wild bunch :)

    Hugssss
    LindaH

     

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