Hi - Jacking for Michelle Hoppe

Okay, I realize I'm late to the party, however I must set the record straight:

1. Yes I do snore. I have never denied it, but Ter is correct, that cat is wayyyyyyyyyy LOUD!

2. The only reason we were out buying my booze, leaving Rob to clean up the mess is because ya’ll done forgot to get it the day before or some such excuse, therefore requiring poor Franc to find a liquor store in the middle of friggin nowhere, which delayed our arrival home by about an hour. If you had purchased said booze in advance of my arrival as planned, you and Ter would have been home in time to assist poor Rob in the clean up.

3. I was not a wimp – did I not swim? YES, yes I did. Not only did I swim, I invited my sister to visit with us and demanded that she bring her swim suit to assist in Dakota’s campaign to ‘get her monies worth’. My sister, trooper that she is, donned said bathing suit before the required one hour had elapsed after eating and took the plunge. Well her toes did anyway -- so it counts! As for Ter using the pool more often – she arrived two or three days before me (at least one) therefore she had more time to use the pool.

4. I put the friggin sun screen on damn it, so stop bitchin! I returned to Washington tanless thanks to all the damn sunscreen I slathered on.

5. Dakota is right about not having to ‘walk the dogs’. There is a big backyard, however it’s a little more complex than simply opening the door and letting them out. Wait did I say a little? Let me explain and you all be the judge:

a. Take diapers off Milo and Mike
b. Open door and wait for all dogs to exit while keeping foot in place to prevent cat from escaping. Once dogs have exited, quickly pull foot out of the way while praying cat doesn’t get past you and Wensday, poor blind baby hasn’t fallen in the pool yet.
c. As each dog goes to their own area of the yard (which is L shaped), pace in front of pool to prevent any accidental dips by said dogs.
d. While attempting to keep on eye on several areas at once, leave post by pool to open door for dog number one, who has finished its business and is now demanding to be let back inside where it is cool. (Why didn’t she spend a few extra bucks and get a doggie pool installed?)
e. Rush back to post at pool-side, scanning waters surface for possible ripples, while attempting to locate all the other dogs who have now hidden behind (pick one) flower pot, bushes, tall grass in the corner, that little tree with the yellow flowers.
f. Continue moving between back door and pool until all dogs have returned to the house.
g. Wait fifteen minutes - repeat again and again and again and again, well you get the picture.

On my next visit I want a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle.

6. I cooked twice, thank you very much.

7. While Dakota insists the sun is only two feet up and it’s an illusion that it is further away, it’s not true. I have done the research and the distance from Tex-ASS to the sun is 37 feet 6 inches. Next time I’m using less sunscreen damn it. I want a tan!

8. Ter is correct on the bathroom sharing. I’m the one who didn’t have to share. It’s because she loves me best ~smiles~.

9. The truth is Dakota likes to cook, but you didn’t hear that from me ~shhhhhh~.

10. I learned long ago to pack large quantities of tissue for the eventual departure from Casa Cassidy. While I’ll admit to tears of my own, they are a small stream in comparison to the Nile my dear friend Dakota gushes when time forces me to return home.

11. I can not confirm or deny the existence of excessive hamburger helper as the pantry is a vast waste land that I avoid ~smiles~.

Since Dakota has allowed me to hi-jack her blog to set the record straight, I’ll kick in something for the contest. Anyone who posts a note telling Dakota to get me a lifeguard t-shirt and whistle before my next visit will be entered to win a download of any Dakota Cassidy book ~wink~! Lets see how long it takes her to catch this LMAO!

Michelle Hoppe aka Double L