FREAKS

Yanno, there's SPAM and then there's SPAM...

So here's the story. My mother (71 and sometimes a little over the top), comes running down the stairs tonight with the speed of Flo-Jo, pops into my office and hands me a printed out sheet of paper.

Now typically, my mom can be a little paranoid. She won't bank online because she's sure the mob will infiltrate her accounts and tie cement blocks to her feet, then dump her in the drink to keep her mouth shut about it. She won't do a lot of stuff because as you get older, I think you just naturally become more cautious. Shit's happened to you in your life and you know where to draw the line.

However, when she handed me this--I near blew a gasket. It enraged me that people can even get away with this kind of shit, let alone send it to someone who's a senior citizen. it's fine if you want to enlarge my penis, offer me Cialis, tell me I won some damned lottery, solicit my money in many variations thereof and offer to blow me from Russia all in one day. That's one thing.

This--well, this is another and it just isn't fucking funny. Like I've always said, you can say whatever you want about me, do whatever you want to me, but ya can't fuck with my mother or my kids. not even with SPAM!

Whoever the hell is sending shit like this out is the equivalent of those freaks who prey on senior citizens via phone to get them to send money to their orgs so Oral Roberts (or whoever) won't hit the Highway to Heaven. Or the ones who get them to donate to their non-existent charities.

And this here is what my mother brought me--This is the only way I could contact you for now,I want you to be very
careful about this and keep this secret with you for now. You have no
need of knowing who I am or where I am from.I know this may sound very
surprising to you but it's the situation.I have been paid some ransom
in
advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my
employer.It's someone I beleive you call a friend. Do not contact the
police or
try to send a copy of this to them for now
Now listen,I'll give you the vidoe tape of our conversation but before
that, I need $6000.I repeat,do not arrange for the cops for now.
Payment details will be provided for you to make a part payment of
$3000 first,which will serve as gurantee that you are ready to
co-orperate,I will give you a copy of the tape (I tape
recorded our conversation),which will be enough evidence for you to
take any legal action against him before he employs another person for
the
job.
You will pay the balance of $3000 once you receive the tape.
You do not have much time,so get back to me immediately


I e-mailed the address this freaky crap came from to find out what I suspected anyway, and naturally, if you want to save your life, you'd better find a way to do it by osmosis (sp?) because you can't do it via the assholes that thunk this up.

I've never seen SPAM like this before. It's always harmless bullshit. Now--not so much. This freaked my poor mother out and made me want to hunt the motherfuckers who think they're so funny down and bleed their balls dry. While I'm sure their targets probably aren't just the elderly, sending this to ANYONE just ain't copacetic.

So if anyone gets something like this--gimme a shout. I'd love to know if anyone's taken this a step further than just bitching about it. I'd have to guess this could have legal reprecussions if whomever is doing this can be hunted down. In fact, they did catch that one guy overseas for setting his e-mail to send SPAM continuously. If I remember correctly, he's wearing orange and is currently someone's bitch in the pokey--or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

Clearly these Jack asses need a whoopin'.

Dakota