Hey, lady...
Wanna be my friend?
yes, from the peace and quiet of my backyard, where I go to hang out in my jammies and watch my waterfall in my pool, I have an unwanted guest.
So about a week ago I'm all out in my backyard hanging out. My hair is ratty, I'm sick as a dog with bronchitis and I have my jammies on.
I note the neighbors behind us have very unwisely put up a treehouse type slide and swingset for their curly-haired angel.
Yay.
Unfortunately for me, the top of the treehouse overlooks my pool and backyard.
Not so yay for me.
So I'm dying here--feel like shit, can barely breathe and I hear, "Hey, lady, wanna be my friend?"
Okay, so lemme preface this by saying, I like kids--love 'em--just not in my bronchial state and in my jammies. I'd like some privacy in my backyard, thank you and I don't want to chat when I go out there. So I say, "Not today, darling. Maybe tomorrow."
He giggles and keeps peering over the treehouse to see what I'm doing. I get fed up and go back to bed.
Couple days later... "Hey, lady, wanna be my friend today?"
"Not today, darling. I have enough friends for today. maybe tomorrow."
"Do you wanna know my name?"
"Not today because you're not my friend yet and thus, I don't need to know your name."
He giggles and says I'm funny.
Har-har-har.
Next day--same deal.
Me-same deal.
Him--"I'll check tomorrow, 'k?"
Grumble, grumble. "Yeah, okay."
Couple days later. I think I've escaped the little beast because all is quiet. I sit down at my patio table and prepare to vege before I go attack this proposal due June 1.
"Hey, lady? TODAY do you want to be my friend?"
"I still have too many friends. Maybe check back with me next week..."
"Hey, lady! Does your tummy hang over your pants. My mommy says hers does because she eats too much food."
"Yeah, me too. Wanna know why mine does?"
"Why?"
"Because I eat A LOT of little boys " :)
LOLLOLLOLLOL
Ya think I've scarred him yet--or have I more work to do? I think I have more work. he digs me and thinks I'm funny.
Methinks no nude sunbathing, yes?
DC :)
yes, from the peace and quiet of my backyard, where I go to hang out in my jammies and watch my waterfall in my pool, I have an unwanted guest.
So about a week ago I'm all out in my backyard hanging out. My hair is ratty, I'm sick as a dog with bronchitis and I have my jammies on.
I note the neighbors behind us have very unwisely put up a treehouse type slide and swingset for their curly-haired angel.
Yay.
Unfortunately for me, the top of the treehouse overlooks my pool and backyard.
Not so yay for me.
So I'm dying here--feel like shit, can barely breathe and I hear, "Hey, lady, wanna be my friend?"
Okay, so lemme preface this by saying, I like kids--love 'em--just not in my bronchial state and in my jammies. I'd like some privacy in my backyard, thank you and I don't want to chat when I go out there. So I say, "Not today, darling. Maybe tomorrow."
He giggles and keeps peering over the treehouse to see what I'm doing. I get fed up and go back to bed.
Couple days later... "Hey, lady, wanna be my friend today?"
"Not today, darling. I have enough friends for today. maybe tomorrow."
"Do you wanna know my name?"
"Not today because you're not my friend yet and thus, I don't need to know your name."
He giggles and says I'm funny.
Har-har-har.
Next day--same deal.
Me-same deal.
Him--"I'll check tomorrow, 'k?"
Grumble, grumble. "Yeah, okay."
Couple days later. I think I've escaped the little beast because all is quiet. I sit down at my patio table and prepare to vege before I go attack this proposal due June 1.
"Hey, lady? TODAY do you want to be my friend?"
"I still have too many friends. Maybe check back with me next week..."
"Hey, lady! Does your tummy hang over your pants. My mommy says hers does because she eats too much food."
"Yeah, me too. Wanna know why mine does?"
"Why?"
"Because I eat A LOT of little boys " :)
LOLLOLLOLLOL
Ya think I've scarred him yet--or have I more work to do? I think I have more work. he digs me and thinks I'm funny.
Methinks no nude sunbathing, yes?
DC :)
14 Comments:
At 10:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
lol - hopefully he'll get sick of you eventually. Although he could be one of those males who will just keep trying cos you're not giving him what he wants *g*
Jaynie
At 11:10 PM,
Terri said…
OMG that is too damn funny I can't wait to come over and be his friend LMAO
At 11:36 PM,
Sasha White said…
If you give the nude sunbathing a try, maybe his parents will take down the treehouse and your problem will be solved. *evil grin*
Also, you have way more patience than me. I'm not a fan of kids. LOL
At 11:39 PM,
Dakota Cassidy said…
Oy, Jaynie! I hope the hell not. LOL
Oh, ter, by the time you get here--I'll have fixed him but good :)
Hey, Sasha! I love kids. I do. Just not in my private sanctuaries. LOLLOL
DC :)
At 6:43 AM,
Unknown said…
If Dakota does the nude sunbathing, the father will probably join his son in asking to be her friend! OMG -- Even trying to be "mean" Dakota can attract the boys and keep them coming to her. He sounds adorable, wish he lived in my backyard.
At 7:44 AM,
ValVega said…
Hey Lady, wanna be my friend? *g*
And no naked sunbathing, your "friends" will multiply if you do that. He'll probably bring his father, little brother, uncles, buddies and so on, to see his future "Friend" in the nude LOL On the other hand, you'd become quite popular in your street! LOL
At 8:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
Aw, Dakota, he sounds like a darling ;) Is today his lucky day? lol
At 9:20 AM,
Robin Snodgrass said…
LMBO! That is priceless Dakota!
Hey Lady, do you want to be my friend today? *wink*
Have a great day!
At 10:25 AM,
Sam said…
How funny.
Sounds like you have a winner.
Why isn't he in school?
Just pray he's not home schooled. Your private life will be contained within school hours, lol.
At 8:25 PM,
Erin the Innocent said…
LMAO
At 11:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
Someday, that kid is gonna grow up, and come up with the cure for cancer. And you'll be sick and need it, and he wont give it to you... because when he was a cute little kid and needed a friend...
Bad Dakota. Bad Dakota.
~R - The Champ
At 7:40 PM,
Jo said…
do the nude sunbathing... its your backyard you can do what you want.... if he likes it and maybe brings his frieds over .... you call the police ... thats a peeping tom haha.... yeah... i'd do that.... i think i've just cured my want for a dog.... ticks.... ew....
At 12:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
OBVIOUSLY the kid needs some friends........so go ahead a run around naked! It won't be before long that the kid will have all kinds of friends :-) (And possibly becoming an entrepreneur in the process! He could sell tickets!)
Tell him you'll take 20% of all commissions!
;-) Soybean
At 11:56 AM,
Dakota Cassidy said…
OMG--it's my bud Joy! LOLLOL. My oldest son couldn't pronounce her name and it came out "Soy", so it stuck!
She moved away and it made me VERY sad :(
Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy, whassup? LOL
DC :)
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