Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thursday 13 #1


Yeah, I'm gonna give this a shot for lack of anything else to blog about. I got nuthin' these days that isn't work related and BOOOORING.


So with that in mind, and remembering I have no clue how to put the thingy in here for people to add their URL's saying they did Thursday 13 too--Here we go :)


13 Places I Sag On My Body


1. My eyelids--yeah, when I slap my eyeshadow on them it kinda gets stuck mid-eyelid and wrinkles. Crap.


2. My butt. It once was a pretty hot butt. Tight, pert, worthy of an occasional oogle--now it's flat and will soon be by the backs of my knees.


3. My right boob--hold on, I have two.


4. My left boob. Yes, indeedy. Gone are the days of going braless and Hooter-mania. They need TWO Vic Secret Embrace bras to achieve only HALF of the effect I had at say, 20. What-ever.


5. My abdomen--once a soft swell of flat surface you could chase a hockey puck over is now kinda a lump made worse by my bladder issues. See #6 for full explanation.


6. My bladder. yeah. I turned forty and hit the shit runnin'. I saw the doc, cuz if I don't hit the facilities at LEAST 25 times a day, I just don't feel whole. He gave me Detrol LA because my bladder is having sagging issues and has grown weak. The Detrol LA has a side effect better known as swelling. If I push my stomach out, I really can make it look like I'm a good six months along. Pretty--very, very pretty.


7. My thighs. Once a force to be reckoned with--able to crack small children's heads in a single Full Nelson are now experiencing the jigglies. Argh.


8. My hair. It just doesn't have the same kinda bounce it once had...


9. My eyeballs. I have bi-focals because I have seeing trouble near AND far. They're a thing of beauty--really.


10. My knees. I noticed a wrinkle the other day whilst busting my saggy ass gardening.


11. My arms. It won't be long before I can take off with a good, stiff breeze if I just click them twice...


12. My waist. It really was once between my hips and boobs. Now? Not so much :)


13. My hips. Indeed, I've found they should be right above your hoo-hah and attached somewhere around your abdomen. Fancy that.


DC :)

8 Comments:

  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger Terri said…

    LOL - Sorry i know it is not funny...but it was !

    Ter

     
  • At 1:02 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    yeah... it's VERY funny. LOLLOL

    DC :)

     
  • At 4:04 PM, Blogger Bonita said…

    LOLLOL -- I understand all to well -- just way another 10 years for the 50 mark *sigh*. I am so there.

     
  • At 9:33 PM, Blogger Erin the Innocent said…

    DAMN IT! You made me choke on my water at the TITLE for crap sake. LOL

     
  • At 2:56 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Dead Dakota, as your friend who has a decade of sagging more than you, I can safely say that the worst is yet to come.

    I loved being curvaceous at 20, 30 and almost to 40 but now with my 50th b-day only a couple of months away I am just flabby and saggy. Looking in the mirror is becoming unpleasant. Gary, bless him, says he can't tell the difference, but he is just interested in the nookie.

    Don't even get me started on how my complexion and skin have deteriorated!

    Will miss seeing you at RT this year.

     
  • At 2:57 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Eeek not Dead dakota, DEAR dakota!!
    Damn me for typing this early in the am.

     
  • At 6:47 AM, Anonymous Jaci Burton said…

    Darlin....we could be twins, down to the bifocals. Next time I see you we're doing side by side photos.

    ;-)

     
  • At 10:53 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LOLLOL @ P. I was kinda wonderin' if that dead part was the next step for me in my sad decline. I'm sorry you won't be there too, sweetie :)

    Jaci? Um, your baldder sags too? God, that's tough to hide under the old mini-skirt, isn't it? LOL

    bonita--OY, honey.

    Erin--sorry... really, this is my sorry face. LOL

    DC :)

     

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