Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Boobs, Barbara and Thanksgiving

hookay, so this is a fly by for me. I got nine million things to do and only like 24 hours to do them in. Snort.

So I read an article about a chick who was busted for breast feeding her kid on a plane, during a three hour layover. Look, here's my take on that--what is the matter with you people? The kid needs to eat and he sure as hell can't fill up on the crappy pretzels and half a can of Pepsi YOU provide these days.

Jesus Effin'. I can understand the discomfort to a degree. Do I want to see your boob? Not a lot. I can look away. No big deal. Though, with a 16 year old it bothers me a bit because he's bound to see the boob, not the baby, open his big mouth and gasp, "Oooooooooh, HOOTERS!", as sixteen-year olds are won't to do. The folks who plop out a boob in front of me are far more secure than I am. I don't wanna see your ta-ta's, but I also don't wanna see your kid go hungry. So I don't care if you feed them in public, not one iota. To be kicked off a plane for it--weeeell, that seems just a bit extreme. Some women chose to picket at the Burlington Airport over it. OY.

I say, feed the kid. However, I'm sorry, if my kid opens his yap--but, well, it's to be expected. I can only imagine the car ride home with my hormonal teenager who really shouldn't be looking at your boob and gawk (because does he really get that this is your childs form of nutrition? No. he sees a BOOB, people) and want to talk about it incessantly for two days straight. He's not thinking, "Aw, cute baby" like me, trust me.

But he's sixteen. AND I don't want to have to slap my hand over his mouth and drag him away because he's seeing his first up close and personal boob in the mall where I have to make a scene to shut his loud trap. But hey, if you;re okay, I'm okay. LOLLOLLOL. Otherwise, I say whoever asked the poor lady to leave should be knocked in the teeth. I wasn't able to breast feed due to duct-non-productus, but I would have if I could have. I also would probably have covered the part of my boob that wasn't useful. However, I'm just modest like that. Snort.

I also have to say, some breast feeding mom's can be RABID. Like total freaks about breast milk. I can't tell you how many women I encountered when I had my second son at my oldests nursery school who gasped because I had a bottle of formula.

Some would ask if it was breast milk in the bottle first, I'll give 'em that. Most just went off on the theory of breast milk and how good it was for my kids brain ect. So, I had to launch into my inadequacies as a non-lactating new mother. It always made me feel like an idiot that I had to justify bottle feeding. Like I owed then an explanation? As long as my kid isn't drinking beer from a bottle, back off you crazy zealots. Some people go too far either way and it's really not your job to educate me, thanks. When I wear a T-shirt that says, "Need Info on Breast Milk--or Illiterate" do comment. Until then, lay off.

Breast feed if you want. Hell if I could have, you could have breast fed my kid too, but don't judge me because you're like "Ultimate Mom" and behave as if I'm some piss-poor reproduction because my boobs don't go the way of the homogenized.

I can tell you, I guess formula couldn't have been all that bad. Son number 2 has had only ONE go 'round with antibiotics in his 12 years--ONE. Never had an ear infection, has had two colds and missed four days of school his entire life. Oh, and he's an honor student. So I dunno if I buy the boob is best theory, ladies :)

Now onto Barbara--Streisand, that is. I've loved her since what seems like the beginning of time. I love her like I love Barry. Twould seem Barbara, in her infinite Streisand wisdom has been using her God-awful expensive concerts (you know, her "I'm never perfroming again concert, so gimme a grand concert?" Just like the one she did 13 or so years ago?), as a venue to spew her political likes and dislikes.

Here--here is where I can almsot ( I repeat, almost) see how some of the romance reading folk have that saying. You know the one, "Write, bitch, write and shut up! We don't want your personal opinions on anything--not even how we feel about your books. You're our slave to entertainment and now that you've sold yourself into servitude--do your job!" I'm sorta feelin' that right now. If I ever get an extra grand just lyin' around needin' somewhere to go--I wanna go to Barb's concert. I wanna hear you SING! I don't want to hear your political views. I don't want to hear your crazy theories on how the world is coming to an end because of George or anyone else. I don't give a fuzzy sheep's butt one way or 'tother. I'm paying out like a mortgage payment to hear you SING like the bird in a gilded cage that you are. I adore you. I want to be swept away by the beauty that is Evergreen and The Way We Were, not by a Democrat. I sure wouldn't pay that kind of money to see Al and Tipper in concert.

I can watch the news for that, thanks. So do me a favor--can the politics. You can have opinions, that's perfectly fine. Just don't have them when You Don't Bring Me Flowers, okay? Cuz you'll hear a rumble from the balcony if I ever get the chance to see you. I hate having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat because I was stupid enough to let you hold me hostage for a grand, ya know? I'd be hard-pressed to leave because I paid good money, but I'd also be hard-pressed to not scream, "SHUT UP!" because that's not what I'm here for. Sadly, I don't have a grand just lying around looking to jump in your pocket either. Lucky you, eh? LOLLOL

Thanksgiving--it approacheth. I'm having my dad and Uncle Harry AND R. Send good vibes, say prayers, do whatever it is you do that will help me survive my mother and father who argue like toddlers over a Happy Meal Toy. My uncle who doesn't realize I'm his niece due to Alzheimers and calls me good lookin' while commenting on my thighs. My sons who cannot eat a meal on the same planet without hurling snarks at one another and poor R, who may want a refund when all is said and done. LOLLOL

Hope you all have an awesome T-Day!

Dakota :)


  • At 5:07 PM, Blogger Bonita said…

    I agree that ladies have a right to breastfeed their babies anywhere. Most are very discreet, but if they are not, it does not offend me.

    I love Barbara's singing; but like you, I do not like political views shoved down my throat in a social venue (especially if I have paid BIG MONEY to attend, thank you! LOL)

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.

  • At 5:12 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I mean, seriously, B/C WTF? If I come across a grand and throw it her way--sing--sing--SING! LOL

    As to the breast feeding, I'm okay one way or the other. I would, however, dread it if my kids were on that plane near that poor woman. Sadly, that was my first thought. What would my kids have said? The heathens. LOLLOL

    DC :)

  • At 6:29 PM, Blogger FeyRhi said…

    Holy what a big deal over a big ole' gland! LOL. You right about the 'ulitmate' moms. My SIL is one of them. The guilt trip she tried on me when I on formula at 4 months. damn. By that point I was so sleep deprived (from feeding my daughter every 2 hours day and night) I no longer was able to formulate full sentances. So I just flipped her the bird *G*

    Can't say I am a big Barbera fan so my jaw drops when I hear what people pay to go to one of her shows.

    Good luck on Turkey day. What's a family holiday with out a few freyed nerves? That's why wine was created.

  • At 6:41 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Gawd, I tell ya, Feyrhi, twas absurd. Like I was only half a mother because I had boobs-non-produceth. They drive me NUTS. LOL

    And I guess flipping them the bird mighta worked, but it was nursery school, ya know? LOL

    Glad you stopped by :)

    DC :)

  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger Erin the Innocent said…

    I can't believe you spelled Barbra's name wrong *snort* (there is only 1 a in Bab's name)

    I'm with ya on the breastfeeding issue. I have to re-read the Babs issue ... I was fixated on the improper spelling of her name (and I'm not even a huge fan of hers LOL I don't hate her, but I would never spend a bizillion dollars on a ticket to see her concert ... even if I had a bizillion dollars LOL)

  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger Erin the Innocent said…

    And I can't believe Jaynie is still first in your blogger friend list when she doesn't even have a blog anymore LOL

    (btw Happy Turkey Sacrifice day)

  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    You know, if she would just spell it like the NORMAL people do. LOLLOL

    And I really need to update my blog. I had someone who was going to do it, but she kinda disappeared. So I'm on the hunt for new meat :)

    DC :)

  • At 7:29 PM, Blogger Daun Ann said…

    Sounds like a perfect Thanksgiving to me. You have a your family with you, that's all that counts. Pulling your hair out is what the day is for. Put chairs on each side of the room with signs that says "Mom's Time Out Chair" and "Dad's Time Out Chair" and leave it at that. Uncle...can't help that one, but be thankful he thinks your cute.

    Oh, I have 12 year old girl that will help you cook.

    $1,000 to see anyone sing, NO F*G way in Hell. Specially if she going to shove politics down my throat. Double F*G way in hell. hehe

    Breastfeeding. Good for her. Bad for the people that kicked her off. I don't have boys so I didn't think that "ooh, hooters" I see a food machine. I was able to breastfeed my oldest for 6 days then she was hospitalized for jaundice, she was in for a week, when she came out she wouldn't take the breast anymore and I didn't even think to pump. My second sucked me to hard and had me bleeding, so I stopped after 3-4 days. The third, didn't even attempt, good thing too. She was a premie and was in the hospital for 13 days. My ex wouldn't take me to visit her often, so luckly I didn't pump for her, the milk would never had made it to her. I lost 2 1/2 pints of blood, so I couldn't drive for a several weeks after I had her.


  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Askinstoo said…

    just thought I'd let you know a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
    I made over $900 last month having fun!

  • At 3:46 AM, Blogger Sam said…

    I breast fed my kids and no one minded. I breast fed on planes, trains, and automobiles. I never got any comments, so I'm wondering has the world gone totally Puriten all of a sudden? Because ten years ago, it was nothing special.
    My sons saw people breastfeeding and it never fazed them. Raised in France where naked tits are commnplace on beaches and on TV so they're blasé I guess.


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