Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Million Dollar Listing--Jeffrey and an ode to Steve

What a weekend. First, there was the barbecue from hell, courtesy of Dad and Uncle Harry. Then Steve Irwin up and dies.

In my mind he was invincible, I guess. I mean, he wrestled crocs, for crap's sake. I sure was sad to hear he'd been fatally injured. I haven't been a regular watcher for years, but I enjoyed his antics and enthusiasm for his work. His children are so young. It pains me to know they'll grow up without him there, but I'm comforted by the idea that his children have quite a legacy of memorabilia and memories.

Onto the barbecue. Um, Uncle Harry and dad were here. I barbecued in the rain. My mother and father argued. Nuff said. LOL

Million Dollar Listing--another reality show--YES, YES, YES, I'm fricken' hooked, but it was on Brava after stupidhead Jeffrey from project runway--how could I just turn it off?

It's about real estate agents who get million dollar listings. I watched the episode with Morgan and some other chick I'll refer to as Barbie, cuz I can't remember her name. LOL. Actually, from here on out, Morgan and Barbie will be Ken and Barbie. Cuz that was much what it was like.

So Ken gets a mondo listing. Ken is 24 and already making six figures. Barbie is older, but she makes some major bucks too. In fact, Barbie got her ex boyfriends listing for his Hollywood house. I'd call her ex Ken too, but you'd end up confused. So he's GI Joe. LOL. Anyway, Ken had a listing in Malibu for like 3.8 mill for a fixer upper. He only makes 95 grand on it.

Only.

Do that twice in a year and I do believe you can afford a shack on Zuma beach with a surf board to rest your head on. And if I were buying me a house that cost that much, it damned well better not even need a fricken' nail. Some rich guy bought it and he was enthralled with the idea of fixing it up. He couldn't wait. It's called flipping a house. buy it beat up. Fix it--re-sell it. His profit will probably be around 400,000. Niiiiiiice gig if you can get it, eh? I'm in the wrong biz, I tell ya.

Barbie tried like hell to sell GI Joe's house, but he was tres difficult. Tres--she was working as a double agent (as agent for seller and buyer) and it went to hell in a hand basket rapido. GI Joe didn't like the buyer and all her demands, so he pulled the house from the market. it was up for like 2.9, I think. Barbie lost 114,000 smackeroos after losing her commission and the advertising costs.

Pout. LOLLOL

I was surprised at the actual numbers when all is said and done. 6% doesn't work out to much with a million dollar home. However, I'd suppose if you only sell two or three homes in a year, you can scrape by. LMAO

And now, Jeffrey from Project Runway. I managed to catch the episode where he so rudely behaves like the spoiled, self indulgent ass he is and insults one of the other designer wannabes moms. Ya know, his mother was there too. She was off with the fab Laura. Had I been his mother and I'd heard him talk to someone--anyone like that, I'd have slapped him in the head. Jeffrey didn't like the fact that the other designers mother didn't like the color of the fabric he bought and she told the host so. Very nicely, and well, he did ask. She wasn't mean. She told the truth. Which, as Jack Nicholson would say, "he can't handle."

Christ and a sidecar, you'd think she said he should design clothes for Walmart! She went off and cried about it though. After he made it perfectly clear she didn't need to be around while he made his fabulous creation. She did try to make him understand, but I get the feeling Jeffrey only understands Jeffrey-speak. Translation--I am fabulous. I can behave like the sissy I am and no one can call me on it because I AM. I breathe--therefore, the world should be grateful.

Well, I'm not grateful, you scrawny, mean, mohawk wearin', tattooed, crybaby. How ya like them spools of thread? Jerk. Good hell, the more I watched, the more mortified I became. To speak to someone's mother like that? OY. Mine wouldn't hesitate to slap me senseless. He even cried after his critique from the judges whilst his mother soothed him. Baby, baby, baby. I stuck my tongue out at you, Jeffrey. You, girl. LOLLOLLOLLOL

Anyway, tonight they're in Paris and I'm praying Michael or Laura beats his twisted knickers off and he goes back to wherever he came from. I love Michael--he's such a smart designer and I love Laura's classy stuff too. If either one of them wins, I'll be happy.

And I absolutely MUST catch Million Dollar Listing again. I need to know if Barbie, Ken and GI Joe might possibly hook up for a menage in the hot tub of a million dollar fixer upper. LOLLOL

DC :)

7 Comments:

  • At 7:56 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    But it's a writer's playground, B/C. Soooo many evil people LOLLOL

    DC :)

     
  • At 8:58 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Dakota, I'm with you, I had this feeling like Croc man was invinsible, so sad for his family and I can't imagine what it was like for the people who were with him when it happened. It's all very sad.


    I love Project Runway! Despise Jeffrey, gives me the creeps. LOVE MICHAEL and also am fan of Uli. Glad Vincent (that's his name, right? lol) got he boot last night.

    I'll have to look into this Million Dollar Listing.

     
  • At 9:32 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Isn't he just like the biggest sore loser EVAH?

    Did you see that tablecloth for a picnic dress he called haute coture? Bleh

    What a freakin' baby. I say we vote him off the island...er, sewing machine. LOL

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I mean, seriously, Marissa, was that not like the inside of a picnic basket????

    I LOVED Uli's. Loved it.

    I'm with ya--let's vote him and his ego off the planet. LOL

    DC :)

     
  • At 3:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Uli should have won, dammitt
    Jeffrey is just the ass for this season - like Santino last year, but Santino was much funnier (did you ever hear his impression of Tim Gunn?? LMAO)

    My fav gal Laura missed a bullet on this episode - whew! But Vincent needed to GO!!

    I still think the finals will be Michael and Laura.

     
  • At 9:26 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I liked the bottom of Caine's, as well. I loved the way it moved. I wasn't as crazy about the top. But I sure wouldn't have chosen Jeffrey's even if Cain had made a potatoe sack. LMAO

    My personal fav is Michael. If I had to scrutinize, Uli and Laura come up with the same stuff in diff colors. LOl. But Michael thinks smart. I loved his reversable dress :)

    ALl I know is, if that damned Jeffrey wins--we should stage an uprising. LOLLOL

    Dakota :)

     
  • At 6:19 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Yeah, Michael isn't much into critisism and I love that about him. He's all about putting his energy into designing instead of whining. LOL

    That should be Jeffrey's motto--design-don't whine. Tee hee :)

     

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