Monday, July 24, 2006

Happy Anniversary, honey :)

So, today's the day.
Yep, it's been a WHOLE year of R and Dakota as a couple.
Yes, Honey and Bunny have made it to the 365 day mark.
DC and The Champ are officially about to celebrate 12 months of bliss.

I hafta say, I thought we'd be ovah month two. Because we were friends first and I truly believed in my gut we'd screw it up by involving sticky emotions that are best left for break-ups and nasty divorces. I told R that often--we were doomed. "Don't worry, honey," I'd say, "after two months you'll be sick of me. My charm wears off. I'm a lot of work mentally. Trust me." When we hit two months-- I told him month six, he'd really be sick of me ect.

Now R would always laugh and say, "Didn't you say that last month, Bun?" And well, yeah, I did. I think I said it every month for the first few and then I gave up because R was so dismissive about it. LOL

Most of you know we met on a date site. E-mailed a lot, Im'd even more and date two (the first second date I'd ever consented to go on, mind you), I decided we would be friends and nothing more. I'd never laughed as much with someone, never had as much fun, never chatted endlessly with someone of the opposite sex as much as I did with R. I t was easy. Too easy. Thus, in my mind, a relationship other than friendship was out of the question. He was too much fun to risk losing to the ugly stuff that can happen when you become a couple. We'd break up and I'd lose someone I loved being around. No can do.

And as you all also know, R had other ideas. He took it like a man and continued to laugh with me when I would send him some of the crazy e-mails I'd get from other guys on the site. He'd ask me about the booooring dates I continued to go on with a smile plastered on his face. We went to the movies. We had dinner. We still Im'd every bloody day and late into the night--we talked on the phone all the time too. Sometimes upwards to 8 hours. Yet, I still didn't get the big pic. I was busy encouraging him to hit up another chick I thought he liked.

But R had the pic already painted and he bided his time, kept right on being my friend until a crazy phone call about what being my boyfriend entailed--a long and torturous three day war in my never quiet head--a challenge, and a smack down kiss in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble changed EVERYTHING. That kiss, the one I thought surely one of us wouldn't end up feeling, rocked.

So we became a couple on the 26th day of July after an IM about my doctor's appointment, where I mentioned I'd offered the doc sexual favors for free medical services-- cuz I have NO ins. LOL. Course, I was just joking, but R decided it was time to remind me that if we were going to be exclusive, I couldn't offer my sadly sagging wares to anyone but him. Unless I would allow him to do the same. Which gave me pause for thought. Which is EXACTLY what I'm sure his intent was. Sneaky bastard. So he asked for my hand in friend and I still thought we didn't have a shot.

As much as I loved being with him, something horrible was bound to happen. We'd break up and I'd be right about how we just should've stayed friends. There was no going back cuz when I break up with you--you have to hand over all of your shit, plus the toilet paper and if I'm really pissy, the spinny thing that holds the toilet paper roll too. LOLLOLLOLLOL

However, each month I fell more in love with him and for the first couple, I struggled with that. I remember distinctly when I knew I loved him. It was very shortly after we'd begun to see each other--even before we were exclusive--ten days or so before we'd even contemplated anything physical. Well, we'd contemplated, but we waited until it was right. Wow, did we contemplate. LMAO. He'd come over to my house for the first time and we were going to watch a movie. The moment he sat on my couch and put his arm around me I knew. He used to say we were like peas and carrots--we just went together, ya know? I don't think I ever believed you knew when you found the right one, but you do. So don't sell yourself short if you ain't feelin' it. Cuz when you do feel it, there's nuthin' like it :)

But that didn't keep me from being a freaked out mess. I cried that night after he left because this just wasn't what I wanted or planned on. My idea of a boyfriend wasn't falling in love. It was someone to hang out with, boink occasionally and see a movie. Courtesy of HIM, of course. LOL. I was too busy with a new career to end up with someone who'd suck the life out of me. My experience with relationships thus far meant I had to give up everything and make my SO the center of my universe. I just wasn't up to it.

And again, R taught me differently. He let me breathe. I could relax. Nothing made me happier than when I was with him and we were always together. Whenever we could be. Yet, my "girl" friendships didn't suffer, neither did my writing or my relationship with my sons. We spent hours and hours kissing goodbye, (my fav sport BTW. Snort) at my front door (in the garage too) and when we finally, well, ya know... er, WOW. LOL. Who knew? Who knew it happened with such frequency? Who knew it happened like THAT?? LOLLOL.

So I spent a lot of time thinking well, huh? This wasn't turning out the way I'd planned, but it wasn't turning into the major energy, life-force sucking deal I'd expected either. So I went with it and I kept going with it even though I was panicked over how in love I was. I knew R loved me too, he just hadn't said it yet and I sure as shit wasn't saying it first. We spent tons of time together and each month or event we shared I'd mention that after said month or event, he'd be sick of me.

Still, it didn't happen and month two, R told me he loved me. At a stoplight on a covertible ride. I said it back and finally, I decided to take the bull by the horns. When we IM'd that night (as is our usual goodnight after seeing each other), I told him (yes, I TOLD him LOL) that he knew as well as I did that we were "it" for each other and as freaked out as it made me, I said it. Something I'm just not so good at. He agreed in his all knowing, but not condescending way. We had this sympatico I couldn't deny--we just were. Of course, he knew that too...

Just yesterday, when we drove past that very stop light, R reminded me it was where he told me he loved me and that's only one of a million reasons I love him.

He has the sweetest heart. He's considerate. He's consistent. He's thoughtful. He tells me every day in one way shape or form that he loves me--how pretty he thinks I am. He soothes me. He tells me if I'm overreacting. He talks to me-- not at me. He makes me laugh harder than anyone else. He's the most awesome kisser evah. He holds my hand wherever we go. He encourages me. He remembers the little things. He massages my neck when it hurts like hell and even when it doesn't. He never fails to make me feel like I'm the most important part of his life, yet he never makes me feel like I'm soley responsible for his happiness. He loves my dogs and cats. He never gets mad because he has dog and cat hair all over him. He just smiles and says it can be washed.

He's waaaaay cute. He lets me be me and believe me when I tell you, me being me can be A LOT. He interests me. He can keep up with me mentally. Not an easy task, I tell you. He makes me secretly smile and giggle when I think about him. He's good to my sons without trying to show them the "ways of a man". He was never pushy with them and he doesn't demand that they do anything other than be themselves.

He has a strict moral code that mirrors mine. He's soooo good to his mother. He's incredibly smart. He makes me feel secure in our relationship without knowing he does. He demands nothing of me but my honesty. He has a calm about him that always eases my inner freaked out. He doesn't pressure me, but he's made his intentions clear. He knows I'm hesitant about that very scary word (you know, the one that involves Elvis and his Chapel of Love in Vegas? LOL), yet he's willing to wait me out.

He includes me in everything--knowing where I left off in my last relationship, he never gives me reason to doubt him, but he doesn't do it in an obvious way that makes me feel stupid about my trust issues. He doesn't let my doubts and worries stop him from being who he is and showing me how he feels about me. He doesn't hold a grudge. He kinda acknowledges my worries by letting me know he's heard them and then, walks all over them. LOLLOL

R truly is a prince among men and I'm eternally grateful I finally listened to him when he knew better than I did. It's been the best year of my life ever. R taught me that you can be friends as well as lovers. That just because you're involved doesn't mean you have to give everything else up. You can still be an entity all on your own AND enjoy the benefits sharing your life with someone else brings. You really can want to be with someone all the time and not feel stifled. You can also be apart and miss each other, but still connect. You don't have to run out of things to talk about either, but silence isn't necessarily condemnation. It can bring you quiet comfort. A peace like no other.

There's no one in the world quite like you, honeybuns. You make me laugh like no one I know, sigh all girly-like over the little things I thought I'd forgotten about and most of all, you've captured my heart with your patience and uber sexy persistence. You're the best thing in boxer-briefs that's ever happened to me and I love you like a buttload.

And a BIG thank you to my very good friends in Babeville. Jaynie, Erin, Maura, Michelle, Isy, Pam, Bonita, Lisa and everyone who encouraged me to stop being such a wussy and just do it. You were all full of love, advice and support. I'll always treasure that.

So, happy anniversary, honey!
Love,
Bunny :)

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