B-I-N-G-O

I think I'm a little in love with the game--even if it confounds me. I rediscovered it when R and I went to Austin and his family was here for a movie premiere that his nephew was in.

His nephew took R's mom to play Bingo and we all went along. I lost, but I had a blast.

I lost cuz Bingo ain't what it used to be. It's not just up and down and diagonal anymore. Noooooo, now it's shapes and stupid stars and stuff called six packs. Nonetheless, I was fascinated by the little old ladies shushing everyone when they called the numbers. I mean, you could see them on the big TV screen, but they got crazy if you talked. I couldn't believe the number of cases of beer you could stash in a GEO--everyone needs refreshment whenst daubing the shit out of their 12 sheet spread, oui? It's tiresome, thirsty work. LOLLOL

I was mesmerized by the number of troll dolls these women use as good luck charms. I thought they'd long since been sold at a tag sale in 1985. I couldn't stop giggling over the fact that R was accused of taking someone's lucky chair and the nice lady kept giving him dirty looks because of it. She was seriously vexed over it. He offered it back, but she refused, then whispered bad things about him to her friends. LOLLOL

I couldn't keep up because I kept messing up my damned shapes. My brain just doesn't work in multiples like that, ya know? How in theeeee HELL am I supposed to keep track of not only the shape of the state of TX, but the freakin' numbers that form it??? What kind of friggin' moron thought I could use both sides of my brain at once? LOLLOLLOLLOL. Just didn't work out for me

However, I told R we had to take his mom when we went to visit this summer because she so enjoys it.

So me, the Midge and R went to IN to play BINGO. It's bigger money than in MI. We went into it as a team. If anyone of us won, we'd split three ways. I refused to play with anything but a green dauber. Green is the color of money and man, can that money be big.

For some. Snort.

Anyhoodles, small town America is really underrated. It's got it's own complexities. It's own dramas. It's own clique. And they were definitely clique-ing. It was horrifyingly apparent that I didn't come from IN, but it's okay. I had fun anyway. Well, except for when I was so busy concentrating on my freakin' six pack in square two (hoping for a nine pack) that I TOTALLY missed the six pack in square one that I already had. I had BINGO for crap's sake! I just had it on my own time--not on the Bingo chicks clock. I could have screamed because the bingo 'ho-ing tart in front of me called out Bingo, but it was MY bingo she had. LOLLOL.

I mean, I had all the right stuff too. The Midge had loaned me her good luck charms--I had some praying hands (which I promptly placed on the number I needed to score as we went), a bunch of little doo-dads that I couldn't identify and a fake bingo ball. Alas, they didn't work in my favor. Like at all.

But guess what? The Midge, in all her bingo playing glory, won. Not Bingo, but a scratch off card. The bingo ladies float around table-to-table with them and disturb your bingo chi when they try to sell them to you. I wanted to tell the nice lady to piss off, I was too busy trying to make shapes to buy scratch off cards, but The Midge bought some and she won 150 bucks. Yeaahhhhhh, thass what I'm talkin' about :) Cold, hard, bingo scratch off cash, baby.

I'd show you the pic of my honeybunny with his dauber, but blogger won't have it. But isn't he dreamy? Even when he's playing bingo. LOL

Dakota :)