Monday, May 08, 2006

Dear Stupidhead...

I am really having a shitty time of it these days and I can't quite say why. No, it isn't just because R is out of town. It began before then.

I was once a patient woman. I could tolerate almost ANYTHING and still smile. It's the beauty queen in me, I think. I learned early on when competing that shutting your pie hole and smiling till your facial muscles hurt was encouraged.

I do that a lot. It's probably what kept me married for so long. In fact, my dentist said my teeth were shifting and beginning to spread because I was clenching them at night, he suspected. Once he gave me that info, I caught myself doing it all the time. During the day...

So anyway, lately I'm finding that harder to do. I mostly keep my opinions to myself and if I do express one, it's always done with the utmost tact.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Dakota tactful? But you'll note that if I reply to something controversial or even confrontational, I do it with a great deal of tact. I used to do it without thinking.

Lately, I'm clenching my teeth to keep from saying some pretty crappy shit. I swear, I have a list of people I want to send, "Would you shut the fuck up?" e-mails to.

I do and I don't want to say it nicely. I just want to spew, "Shut the fuck up, you self important, legend in your own mind, bitch." I want to ask, "Whhhhhyyyyyy do you go on and on like the buzz of an annoying dentist's drill? Who said anyone gives a crap about all of your pretentious horse pukey? Did you know that I've always thought you were a nasty know it all? Did you know that I'm worn down from hearing your superior rants that you pass off as doing all of us a favor by calling it advice? Could you PLEASE stop thinking that you're the only person on the planet? Cuz we here on the planet disagree."

I'm telling you, there were several moments when I almost did just that. "Dear__, You got a lotta nerve there. Balls like church bells. Guess what? You suck. All you do is cause trouble with your opinions. Just your breathing makes me nuts. I say we vote you off the island."

That sounds harsh, yes? I suppose it does but it's how I'm feeling as of late. Do you think it's because I'm getting older and my hormones rage like gale force winds? Is it from always being nice? Like all of my life?

Is it just that I've reached the point in my life where I don't much care if you know I don't like you, but society says I can't gouge your eyes out with a dull nail file without serving a prison term?

And my problem is that I honestly almost sent one of those e-mails. I sent it to me first, read it and then canned it. But the urge to click send was but a notion away. And I didn't even care if there were reprecussions, cuz I was ready to get my freak on. It was like a wave of pure, unadulterated pissed off.

I've gone 'round the bend, haven't I? The proof of that is that there's no LOL anywhere in this post. I'm thinkin' that's just not kosher. I always LOL at SOMETHING.

SO I blogged about it as therapy. it's keeping me from whipping out my hit list and ending my online career with the big bang.


Dakota--still not LOL-ing :)


  • At 11:08 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    Ya know when I disappear for a bit into a self-imposed timeout? That's so I don't do EXACTLY what you're talking about to someone.

    I think we all have a point where we're just fed the hell up with people - either some in particular or every single one on the face of the planet.

    I don't think you're losing it, honest. And deep down, under the tiara and rhinestones, you're a terrific and giving person and I'm very proud to know you.

    And I'm friend enough to help you bury the bodies!

  • At 11:14 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    dude - you need to get me on that loop *g*

    Find plate
    draw face on it
    write name on it
    smash plate
    feel better.


  • At 4:02 AM, Blogger Angela James said…

    You know, sometimes the hardest thing to do is bite your tongue (over and over and over again). Ranting is easy. Staying silent? Not so much. Both have repercussions. The thing is deciding which you'd rather live with.

  • At 6:24 AM, Blogger Bonita said…

    {{{{{Daktoa}}}}} I think we have all reached that point at times.

  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    You're right, Angie--trouble is that's where I'm at and I don't much care about the repercussions. LOL. It's sooooooo not like me, but that's how I feel these days.

    Maura--right on, sistah--I'll get the body bag :)

    Jaynie--it isn't a loop per say, sweetie. It's all different places, but I'm with ya. I'm sharpening my darts. Snort.

    Bonita--hugs bag, babe.

    Dakota :)

  • At 11:41 AM, Blogger Vikky said…

    I've come close to writing those letters before. Had them all written out and asked the opinion of some so called "friends", who told me not to open that can of worms. So I didn't.

    I've also actually done just what you've said. However, in order to keep anonymity, I created a new Yahoo ID and blasted someone. I used language only close friends have every heard this sailor's daughter use.

    You know what? I had no reprocutions, but I had closure. Also, the person I blasted corrected her errors and hopefully will thing before opening her big stupid mouth on a group about thigs she knows nothing about.

    Also, ((((((hugs))))) cause you know I know how you feel!

  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    Oh has there been a Yahoo group fight that I missed? Dammit!

    Hey Dakota, I give you permission to send that e-mail. You'll feel better, I promise *g*


    Karen (settling down with popcorn and icecream to watch the fallout)

  • At 4:04 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I promise that should I go off the proverbial deep end, Karen, you'll be one of the people I BCC. In fact, I'll BCC you all.

    It'll be my swan song. LMAO

    Dakota :)

  • At 8:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    In case you missed my response to the previous blog, Bunny and I will be forced to spend our time at RT having an UNO tournament, which as you just read, needs to be upped to the best 426 of 850 hands.

    Do you SEE what happens when the UNO stops???? DO YOU SEE ??!?!??!??!

    ~R - The Cooler Champ

  • At 10:31 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    oh, honey. You're sooooo cute. But you don't have that many hands...LOLLOL

    I so miss you :)

    DC:)The feisty one in this match made in hell.

  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Harlot said…

    Dear Dakota, i hope you're feeling better as this is a late reply. :)

    Funny, if you have the time, you might want to peek at my blog and see that i got a hate mail! LOL Someone who called me a "devil's seed". Yep. LOL You might find it fun like i did. :P (I do hope you're not a Nancy Grace fan.)

    Anyway, i don't care when people know i don't like them. That's just the bitch in me LOL. But life is too short and i don't have the time (and money) to have reconstructive surgery for things such as spreading teeth (that gotta hurt too :S). Besides, why am i the one who should suffer? Not to mention the only thing that matters are the opinions of those i love.


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