Monday, March 06, 2006

The Aspen

is a house.

Or a model house that R is contemplating building. He's going to sell his much too big house and buy something much smaller and more manageable financially.

He talks about this Aspen model often. he found it one day when he was driving around and we were on the phone. I looked it up on the Internet for him and it's cute as a button. Tiny, probably a helluva a lot easier to clean than my house and cute. Just enough for a bachelor.

Oh and me...

Sooooooooo, since he found this house, he's made the occasional remark about it. "One day, Bunny, when we're in the Aspen together...When we get to the Apen...We'll get a hammock and spoon at the Aspen..."

Aspen, Aspen, Aspen.

So, for the most part, I, in all of my denial, have thwarted his efforts with retorts like, "I have more clothes than Imelda Marcos has shoes. Where will we fit them? I have chachki's galore, we won't have enough room for them, honey...I need a room to smoke my brains out in when I write, honey..."

To which, R simply ignores me and keeps mentioning it. He never hesitates, he never does it to ruffle my feathers, he just says what he feels and opts to ignore my feeble protests.

Now, we all know from my blogs, I'm pathetically in love. Sickly so. Can't remember what it was like to live without R. However, live WITH R is diff, ya know?

That's like full on committment. The real deal. It freaked me out for a bit and then, the other night, I'm putting away silverware from the dishwasher and I think, "I wonder if R will have enough room for all of my silverware in the Aspen too?" Which leads me to wonder if R will have room for my copius amounts of furniture. Which leads me to wonder if we can use my Egyptian cotton sheets on the bed. Which of course, I've already decided will be MY bed...

In the Aspen.

So, now, I'm all panicking, cuz those thoughts didn't have a hint of fear. Not one. No hesitation, just acceptance, much the way you accept that your roots must be done every six weeks to keep your hair color fresh.

Well, to top things off, gum flapper that I am, I confess these very thoughts to my honeybunny last night.

Honestly, duct tape should be handy on my nightstand to firmly be plastered across my mouth when I get too comfy.

See, that's the prob with R. I don't hide anything from him. Nothing. I was a master at covertly thinking things, but never speaking them at one time. I've lost my shut up skills and I miss them...So we're all watching a movie and smooching and crap and I go off into the bathroom to do something and I say something about the Aspen and when we get there.

Oh, I remember what it was. We were talking about birth control and no babies. We've opted for triple protection, thank you. R and I, at one time, probably would have made a great team in parenting. I know he would have been a wonderful, loving, patient father, but neither of us wants children at this stage of our lives. Mine are growing rapidly and so is my writing career. R doesn't want to be 60 when they graduate. Personal preference, of course. Everyone is diff in their desires, but children isn't something we want and I don't want an oops to be what binds us together for life. I love children, but I'm done with that portion of my life. I love R, but would never want him to feel trapped because we behaved like teenagers, which you ALL know, we're want to do.

So, I was expressing that to R and then, I said, "I'm kinda liking just the two of us in the Aspen anyway. You know, just you and me..."

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I out and out admit that I've been thinking about it like I just told him I like mustard on my ham and cheese and then, I turn red because I don't know when to shut the hell up!

R, of course, totally laughs at me and makes me admit that I think about living with him in matrimonial bliss. Then, to soften the blow, he reminds me how nuts I am about him while he snuggles with me and I hide my head in shame in his forearm.

Crimeny! I wanted to crawl under the bed. He pokes me with the Dakota soooo loves R stick and I realize, it wasn't so hard to say it. It was admitting that I like the idea out loud that killed me. I usually put up a much bigger fight.

So, there ya have it. Yes, I think about the time when we can wake up together every morning (or in R's case, late afternoon) and yes, I think about what it would be like to snuggle at night before we go to sleep. Share meals together, not have to say goodbye in my garage, pay bills together, watch TV together without a headset attached to my phone.

Yes, I think about marrying him and how long we can hold out with the responsibilities that bind me to my big house, my mom, who made uber sacrifices to live with me and my sons, who won't be on their own for another seven years.

Yes, I wonder if it won't become very frustrating for him to possibly wait for those things to pan out if it takes the full seven years. It's a long time to wait. Maybe too long.

How cute will I be in a wedding dress at Elvis' Chapel of Love at 47?

Yes, yes, yes. I think about all of those things. I just don't normally spew them with such abandon.

OY. LOLLOL

Dakota :)

14 Comments:

  • At 2:38 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    Ah, Kota.... It's LOOOOVEEEEE.

    That's so sweet! I tell you, reading your and R's love sage really brightens my day, makes me smile, and now all my co-workers think I'm nuts because I have a goofy smile on my face and have to wipe tears from my eyes.

    I think things will work out, really. 7 years isn't so long - not when you're looking at spending the rest of your lives together.

    And it's not like you can't SEE each other in the meantime!

     
  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    going to the chapel
    and we're
    gonna get marrrrrrrrrried
    going to the chapel
    of love

     
  • At 4:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You two are the cutest things ever!! I wish I could be in love like that.

    Marissa

     
  • At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You like mustard on your ham and cheese?
    PLEASE keep the duct tape handy!
    :)
    Fuzz
    Who thinks that "7 years" will turn into "by Christmas" --- because "never" turned into "8 months..."

     
  • At 8:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You so looooooooooooove me, Bunny :D

    I'm here to tell you, I really didn't let her off THAT easy. For the rest of the evening it was "Don't worry Honey. When we're in the Aspen....< insert your favorite snark here >". But, truth be told, had she not let out that gasp in horror, I probably wouldn't have even thought it was a big deal. BUT... once the jig was up, well... the jig was up.

    Don't worry though. We won't be booking the Elvis Chapel just yet. We've got to work on Bunny's figure skating skills for the 2023 Senior Olympics. Once we're on track there, we'll talk. :D :D :D

    ~R - THE ONE TRUE CHAMP!!!!

     
  • At 8:44 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Oh, I know, honey--we can have a wedding on ice and ask Scott Hamilton (ahem, my coach. snort) to serve as clergy and dress up like Elvis. LOLLOL

    WHatcha think?

    Dakota--who just let's R think he's the champ. I mean, he is kinda bragging that he got me to consider marrying him. Maybe this was all just maniaccal reverse genius on MY part, eh?

    Snort :)

     
  • At 9:25 PM, Blogger Shelbi said…

    When I was twenty [twelve years ago now, egad!]I made a bet with two of my co-workers that I would never get married. The one bet me that I'd be married within two years, the other within one.

    I lost. Horribly. I was married in less than a year to the co-worker who bet me I'd be married within two.

    Sometimes it's just right, and there's not much you can do to fight it. Go with the flow, and be happy, Dakota, you deserve it.

     
  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    See - I told you it was Wedding on Ice!!!

     
  • At 4:41 AM, Blogger Sam said…

    Aspen sounds good to me!
    Pretty name. And small houses are Much easier to clean than big ones. (and heat, and paint, etc. etc...)

     
  • At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Barbara aka hotmama said…

    Dakota- I got your newsy email about your book ( which I love and wanted right away) and want to enter your contest to win said book among other goodies. So if this is the wrong place to post please let me know. cause I followed the links and it sent me here.

     
  • At 1:26 PM, Blogger Jenna Howard said…

    Kota & R sittin' in a tree

    K-i-s-s-i-n-g

     
  • At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Gary and I often dream about an empty nest ... but you're living in a dream world if you think the boys are just going to disappear in 7 years.....I have a 40-yr-old brother who still lives with mom off and on....LOL

     
  • At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You would be adorable in any wedding chapel.

    Diane McConnell

     
  • At 6:49 PM, Blogger Daun Ann said…

    Kota-Sis. See it wasn't that bad to say it, was it? Get the aspen and have a little cottage in the back for mom, problem solved, or have R move in w/you and the family.

    I know, that first steps a big one, or so you thought.

    Hugs & Kisses to you all.

     

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