Monday, February 06, 2006

Goin to the Chapel...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet you DC blog readers thought--HOLY SHIT.

I'm just messin' with yer heads. However, this brought up an interesting R and DC conversation. One we have at least once a week :)

Okay, so R and I are talking the other night about this thang we got goin' on. Now, whenever we talk all serious like, I can give him a gozillion different bad scenarios for every single good one he finds. I worry, I hem, I haw. Do remember, I've not had the best of experiences in terms of relationships. Nor, the best example of someone who wants nothing else from you but what you're willing to give. Oh, and then, there's the fidelity thing. LOLLOL

So, when we talk about the (whispers) future, Dakota gets nervous. Cuz LOTS of bad stuff has happened to her and she doesn't want it to happen again. So, OCD whack that she is, she poses every possible roadblock she can find to see if R will jump, trip, then, fall flat on his tookus. Thus, I can protect myself from a 15,000 dollar divorce. Ya know?

So, usually our conversations go like this, with any variation on a theme I can dream up.

Like Q--how can we possibly live in the same household? I smoke like a chimney when I'm writing. I'd give you lung cancer.

A--I'll get you a room where you can go do your thang, Bunny. Write and smoke to your hearts content.


Q --How can we possibly sleep together every night? I snore.

A--After two weeks, I won't even hear it, Bunny. It'll be music to my ears.

Q--You've been a bachelor for YEARS. How can you share space with someone else? I have practice. I was married. I shared a whole lot more than space for many moons. sometimes, without my permission even.

A--I'll just go riding once a week, Bunny. It relaxes me and then, I'm all good.

Um, Q--I'll make you crazy with my OCD cleaning binges. How can we live together when you only do your laundry like once a year? LOLLOL



Q--I am more mental work that five women put together. How can you possibly hope to keep up? I'll exhaust you.

A--I'll take a nap.

Q--You finish my thoughts, sometimes even my intake of breath (it's true, LOL). How can we possibly spend all of our time together? We'll never have any surprises.

A--I don't need surprises. I just need you, Bunny.

Warm fuzzies abound. Heart clenches aplenty.

Q--My family is NUTS (see Uncle Harry). How can you possibly deal with them for like EVER. Or until they move on to the afterlife?

A--my family has crazies too, Bunny.

Oh, Yeah? Wanna shake my family tree and see all the nuts fall to the ground? LOL

Q--what if we take a vacay to Utah and we visit a guy who has like three wives and you decide that being a polygamist is your kind of thing?

A--one of you is plenty, Bunny.

Refer to me being like five women at once :)

Q--What IF we make the leap and then, you find the REAL girl of your dreams? I mean, then, I'd be divorced again and I'm NEVER doing that again and then, in order to get the girl of your dreams, you'd have to KILL me. Thus, you could go to jail for murder. It could be sooo bad.



We're about as good as it gets. it just doesn't get any better. You ARE the girl of my dreams. Yes, all that stuff could happen, but if I can't make the leap of faith with you, then everyone and everything else seems impossible.

R wins.


Dakota :)


  • At 10:10 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    Dang, Kota, you are trying every roadblock in the book aren't you? And even a few that aren't in the book.....

    Ahhh - loooove. :)

  • At 10:19 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Curtsy--indeed, I am. I'm VERY creative :)

    DC :)

  • At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I swear, that last one... it was like I was channeling another spirit or something. When I finished it, I snapped back to reality and thought "Wow... where'd that come from?".

    That's far more intimate, emotional and "sharing" than anything that's come out of any man's mouth, ever.

    ...I need a drink.

    ~R - The Gushy, Sick, Lovey-Dovey Champ :D

  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    OMG--you so just made THE BIGGEST mistake of your entire LIFE.

    So, what you're saying is--you didn't really mean it--you were just spewing man shit?

    you're playing UNO on a reg basis, honey.

    That could ALL change with just one little denial, baby :)

    Dakota :)

  • At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was merely implying that, that kind of insight just isn't normal in a man. And the fact that I was able to put that all together in a way that not only made sense, but was pretty sweet to boot, required some sort of divine intervention.

    I meant it Bunny. I just don't understand how it came to make sense coming out of my mouth.

    ... time for another drink.

    ~R - The Backpedal Champ

  • At 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    P.S. Has anyone seen my balls?

    ~R - The Girly Champ

  • At 11:04 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Know that cheese commercial? Say it with me now...

    Ahhhhh, the power of UNO


    Dakota :)

  • At 11:23 PM, Anonymous Sheryl said…

    You know Kota, life does NOT get any better than that.

    I'm so happy for you both. May you both get what you want from life, whatever that may be.


  • At 12:01 AM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    Keep working on her R - between you and the rest of the babes, we'll get her to the alter yet.

    I'm determined to wear my banana yellow bridesmaid dress with the tafeta frills *g*

  • At 12:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    he is a keeper, girlfriend...glenda

  • At 12:36 AM, Blogger Maura said…

    I could see official bridesmaid tiaras in the works here!

    R is a keeper!

  • At 6:55 AM, Blogger Bonita said…

    Do not let the past distort your future (so quit throwing out road-blocks -- LOL). Yes, I know we learn from our mistakes, but if you never take that "leap of faith" you might miss one of the most wonderful things in your life. While you are waiting for the "bad things" to happen in life, some very good things could occur. ~s~


  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Oh...this messge is so for R. Think UNO babe. The wedding is going to be in Vegas and the theme is UNO. The bridesmaids are going to were primary colors with draw two on the front and draw four on the back. The groomsmen are going to were matching tux's with Reverse on the front and Skip on the back.

    The minister is going to be dressed like Barry Manilow and instead of 'you may now kiss the bride' he is going to end the ceremony with 'you may now play UNO!'

    I see lots of flowers, again in primary colors with your favorite UNO cards intermixed to keep with the theme and I'm looking for someone to make an UNO rug for the aisle.

    I'm thinking we make Dakota walk forward until she hits a skip, than she'll have to jump the next square and if she lands on reverse, she'll have to walk backwards until she finds another reverse.

    Think of the fun...the ideas are endless.


    p.s. it's okay Jaynie, yellow is a primary color.

  • At 12:00 PM, Blogger Jaci Burton said…


    last time I had this similar conversation with a man

    I married him


  • At 6:13 PM, Blogger Daun Ann said…

    Aaaaw. Sis, don't fret the sweet stuff. I went thru the same thing with my new honey. He stands by me at all times, even when I'm going thru a major depression spurt. He's my rock in my rapids.

    My ex 'taught' me bad stuff and I still get nervous with my new hubby on occasion. I'm still learning myself.

    We've never had a fight and we're going on 3 years of wedded bliss and he doesn't mind that I want sex toys either. hehe (Thanks R on that account :-) you gave me the courage to approch him on it months ago.)

    Sometimes D, that leap looks big, but it's actually a bunny hop.

  • At 9:33 AM, Blogger Paige Burns said…

    Aww, when you got the right guy you just know it babe. And R seems pretty special. Even if he does like NIN. :) I've had my R for almost 11 yrs. It's a good initial. :)

  • At 8:49 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Jaynie? There will be NO taffeta. None. LOL

    Maura--don't encourage her, huh? LOL

    Michelle? shaddup. LOLLOL

    Glenda?--smooch :)

    Bonita? I just wubs ya :)

    Daun--R gave you informative, helpful info? Wow. I lack the brain cells to process that. LOL

    Jaci?--I can't HEAR you. LOLLOL

    Paige--yes, he's a keeper. I can keep him and not keep him, keep him, can't I?

    I'm kidding. Gulp. LOL

    Dakota :)

  • At 10:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I love the primary colors and ceramonial tiaras, but we've already decided that the minister must be an Elvis, and the Pricilla impersonator must be included in the package (...with the fog machine).

    Daun... the fact that I actually had a positive influence on someone's relationship or life is simply mind boggling. I mean, who knew???? LOLOL

    ~R - The Champ

  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Marty said…

    Ah, that's sweet!

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Landra Lynn said…

    OMG DAKOTA!! ROFLMAO! I may be late to this blog entry, but DAMN!

    *looks around nervously* Were you in my apartment this morning for the same damn conversation with Prince Charming?

    He's being insistent that we buy furniture together... I mean, nothing says "forever" like a good leather sofa or an ottoman.

    Thanks for some ideas for the road blocks, I could use them. Just short of setting out tire spikes, I'm running out of ideas!



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