To all the 'ho's who've 'ho-ed before...Adendum

OMG--I can't believe I forgot this kind of PROMO 'ho. There are so many that I lost my head and rushed to post this yesterday without mentioning the--I am so GREAT my editor whips me for my WIP's 'ho!

Meet, Dianna Myeditorsaysshe'llbeatmeifIcan'tproduce
becauseshelovesmeandonlymeand
I'mingreatdemand.

This is the author that will slip in the name of her current characters in her WIP and has to hurry off the loop she's been annoying you on to go finish her brilliant WIP, otherwise, her editor will whip her. Which then, gives you the impression that this author is so fan-tab-ulous that her editor stalks her day and night for WIP's. Never letting her rest...Um, No. That's not how it works. Not where I've been, anyway. And I've "been", believe me. LOL. This is how it works. Your editor says, hurry up and finish, cuz if you don't, I'll give your spot to someone else who can meet their deadline. LOLLOL. Remember ALWAYS, there's always someone better, faster, smarter, prettier. If you're on your way up--you gotta come down. Just depends on how you land. If you sell well does your editor say, what are you doing next? I'd bet so. It's good business sense, but your editor doesn't threaten you. Well, maybe they do, but I've had several and they've never made me run for the Band Aids. It's all a ploy to make you think Dianna is super popular and readers don't buy anything else but what she's writing. Thus, they all wait around for her to produce. She may well be popular, but if she is, why does she need to tell you she is?

Do we joke about mean editors--yeah, all the time. Key word--Joke. Usually, they're as nice as the days is long. When you joke about them, spare us the bullshit that they're hanging by a thread until you send your work of art. Cuz they just ain't. They have other authors and they're busy with them too.

Are there editors that are mean--yeah and they usually get mean if you have a history of the disease called, product non-produceth. It means you suck at doing what you said you'd do. They're on deadline too. So go write your WIP that in your mind, you think your editor will beat you for not producing because it's so great and stay the hell off the loops talking about it. If you're asked about WIP's--respond in kind, then go AWAY. I'm not saying don't be pleasant. Certainly interest is lovely. We've all had a book that fans have waited for. I do--did--will again. But shut up already. If you're off talking about it, you ain't writin' it!

Okay, now back to my earlier scheduled rant...LOLLOL

______________________

Soooooooo, I got a gripe. Not a big one, mind you and not one that's news to any of the e-world, but a gripe nontheless.

I'm kinda bored and I miss R who's back in MI for a car event until next week--so indulge me. LOL

PROMO.

I hate that fricken' word. I hate it almost as much as I hate not having my nails done every two weeks. Snort. I hate it as much as I hate my roots needing a touch up. As of late, I find I'm having to do some of it because I'm on the book a month club plan.

But there it is.

I suck at PROMO. I almost NEVER post reviews for my books and I get loads a month because I write a book a month. I feel stupid doing it because really, how much do you give a shit that my book got a review to begin with? How lame is it to feel like you're obligated to say congratulations to someone? Bleh. I can understand a newbie popping out there and posting them because they need the exposure--makes sense, though I never did that even when I began. It felt too self absorbed for me. Many said I should do it, I just couldn't. I maintain that belief even now, but I don't begrudge someone a nice pat on the back because I'm incapable of doing what they're better at.

So, from the begininng of my career, I just didn't PROMO. Actually, that's not 100% true. When a book of mine comes out--I post ONCE, to my shared newsletter, my co-owned group and that's pretty much IT. I hardly even talk much about the books I'm writing on our group the babes. Occasionally I'll say, this is what I'm working on, but it isn't often because then, it becomes too much like going on and on about Y-O-U. I host excerpt days and stuff, but not often. Most of the days I do highlight other author's work and I always say thank you if someone compliments me. I do--ask anyone. LOLLOL I even crack wise about how many fans I have.

it's 35, in case you were wondering. LOLLLOL

I'd far rather talk with everyone else about their lives. I love a good chat about absolutely NOTHING. We have them often over on the babe group. You can pretty much talk about whatever you'd like. Except your book--endlessly.

You can PROMO, but you have to use the word of the week that one of the folks on the group choose. It's usually some outrageous, nutty word that makes all three of us owners go, "Lawd, what do they want from us?" LOLLOL However, it's been a FAB deterrent to excessive PROMO and hella FUN to work it into a PROMO.

You know those PROMO 'ho's as well as I do. I categorize them by degrees of 'ho-ness.

There's the if you talk about a blade of grass I can find a similarity in one of my books 'ho. You know, the one's who pop up on your group in the middle of a conversation about hangovers and begin with, "Hi, I'm Candy Writesthebestbookever and I know exactly what you mean about yarking after a good shitfaced night on the town. Why just the other day as I was writing my WIP , in chapter 2 gozillion, paragraph 20, I wrote about a similar incident my hero (OMG, he's so hot) had." All of a sudden, someone will post and ask a question about your latest addition to the literary world because they feel compelled to pretend to be interested.

That's the blatant PROMO 'ho.

Then, we have the more subtle 'ho's.

The, no, you don't mean me? 'ho. Take for instance Susie TellmeofmygreatnessanddoitoftenwhileIfeigndisbelief. The author that pops in once or twice a day and if someone has mentioned their work of art, they say, WHO ME? Nahhhhh, you don't mean MY book was fantabulous, superbly written with perfect character arc and so much heat it could melt plutonium, do you? And then, everyone jumps into tell Susie that she is, indeed worthy of their praise and she scurries off to return the next day for more ego stroking.

Then, there's the touched in the head 'ho who talks about her characters in her books like they're REAL LIVE people. Oh, my hero makes me write him this way. He sat me down and told me to do this. Why just the other day, I set a place for Jethro at the table and he, in all his hunky gloriousness had dinner with me.

Now, if you get the combo pack of Candy, Susie AND the psychotic 'ho--look the fuck OUT, cuz she's not only covertly sneaky, she's outright hookin' in her FMP's and tight leather mini skirt, hurling her genius in yer face.

It drives me INSANE. It happens ALL the time. Everywhere as of late. I swear, I see one author's name more than I do my own in my inbox. I know we writers are oft called ego maniacs, self absorbed, introverted, touchy, difficult creatures. Everyone blames it on our creativity gene, but Jesus effin'. What do genes have to do with being a walking, talking, posting e-mail advertisment?

Now, here's the skinny for me. Yep, I write books. Yep, characters have their place and sometimes, as I'm working they speak to me--ON MY COMP SCREEN. Do I think up dialogue and conversations in my head. Yep.Did my character suddenly develop a life of his own and become my second personality? Er, no and if yours does, I beg of you, seek help. LMAO

Do I talk about those characters all the time with every breath I take. Um, no. Do I want to shove my book down your throat so you'll go buy it. Um, no. Do I like praise as much as the next person? Well, shit yeah! Who doesn't? Do I need it 24/7. Nah and neither should anyone else.

What I really wanna do is hangout with ya. Cuz I like people. I like to know what makes them tick. I'm ever curious. I wanna hear about your kids, your dog, you house, your broken fingernail.

I don't want to hear about your delusions of grandeur, your hero's ripped ass or the latest world you built with the Lincoln Logs of your mind.

So, a tip from a not so newbie anymore to all the really newbies. Chill the frig OUT. It takes time to build a following of fans. Invite them INTO your world, don't ram it down their throats. Talk about something other than yourself. Create a sense of friendship versus customer equals sale. You don't ever have to buy or read a book of mine to come hangout with me.

Do I wanna sell books? Yep. Can I do that with a far more humble approach? Um, yep. Do I do that now? Well, I must cuz I'm still here. Am I tickled fuschia if you do buy my book and LIKE it? Yep. Will the end of the world happen if you don't. Um, nope. Cuz everyone has an op and that's okay by me.

I just wish it was okay by all the PROMO 'ho's. LOLLOL

Dakota :)