Saturday, January 07, 2006

To all the 'ho's who've 'ho-ed before...Adendum

OMG--I can't believe I forgot this kind of PROMO 'ho. There are so many that I lost my head and rushed to post this yesterday without mentioning the--I am so GREAT my editor whips me for my WIP's 'ho!

Meet, Dianna Myeditorsaysshe'llbeatmeifIcan'tproduce

This is the author that will slip in the name of her current characters in her WIP and has to hurry off the loop she's been annoying you on to go finish her brilliant WIP, otherwise, her editor will whip her. Which then, gives you the impression that this author is so fan-tab-ulous that her editor stalks her day and night for WIP's. Never letting her rest...Um, No. That's not how it works. Not where I've been, anyway. And I've "been", believe me. LOL. This is how it works. Your editor says, hurry up and finish, cuz if you don't, I'll give your spot to someone else who can meet their deadline. LOLLOL. Remember ALWAYS, there's always someone better, faster, smarter, prettier. If you're on your way up--you gotta come down. Just depends on how you land. If you sell well does your editor say, what are you doing next? I'd bet so. It's good business sense, but your editor doesn't threaten you. Well, maybe they do, but I've had several and they've never made me run for the Band Aids. It's all a ploy to make you think Dianna is super popular and readers don't buy anything else but what she's writing. Thus, they all wait around for her to produce. She may well be popular, but if she is, why does she need to tell you she is?

Do we joke about mean editors--yeah, all the time. Key word--Joke. Usually, they're as nice as the days is long. When you joke about them, spare us the bullshit that they're hanging by a thread until you send your work of art. Cuz they just ain't. They have other authors and they're busy with them too.

Are there editors that are mean--yeah and they usually get mean if you have a history of the disease called, product non-produceth. It means you suck at doing what you said you'd do. They're on deadline too. So go write your WIP that in your mind, you think your editor will beat you for not producing because it's so great and stay the hell off the loops talking about it. If you're asked about WIP's--respond in kind, then go AWAY. I'm not saying don't be pleasant. Certainly interest is lovely. We've all had a book that fans have waited for. I do--did--will again. But shut up already. If you're off talking about it, you ain't writin' it!

Okay, now back to my earlier scheduled rant...LOLLOL


Soooooooo, I got a gripe. Not a big one, mind you and not one that's news to any of the e-world, but a gripe nontheless.

I'm kinda bored and I miss R who's back in MI for a car event until next week--so indulge me. LOL


I hate that fricken' word. I hate it almost as much as I hate not having my nails done every two weeks. Snort. I hate it as much as I hate my roots needing a touch up. As of late, I find I'm having to do some of it because I'm on the book a month club plan.

But there it is.

I suck at PROMO. I almost NEVER post reviews for my books and I get loads a month because I write a book a month. I feel stupid doing it because really, how much do you give a shit that my book got a review to begin with? How lame is it to feel like you're obligated to say congratulations to someone? Bleh. I can understand a newbie popping out there and posting them because they need the exposure--makes sense, though I never did that even when I began. It felt too self absorbed for me. Many said I should do it, I just couldn't. I maintain that belief even now, but I don't begrudge someone a nice pat on the back because I'm incapable of doing what they're better at.

So, from the begininng of my career, I just didn't PROMO. Actually, that's not 100% true. When a book of mine comes out--I post ONCE, to my shared newsletter, my co-owned group and that's pretty much IT. I hardly even talk much about the books I'm writing on our group the babes. Occasionally I'll say, this is what I'm working on, but it isn't often because then, it becomes too much like going on and on about Y-O-U. I host excerpt days and stuff, but not often. Most of the days I do highlight other author's work and I always say thank you if someone compliments me. I do--ask anyone. LOLLOL I even crack wise about how many fans I have.

it's 35, in case you were wondering. LOLLLOL

I'd far rather talk with everyone else about their lives. I love a good chat about absolutely NOTHING. We have them often over on the babe group. You can pretty much talk about whatever you'd like. Except your book--endlessly.

You can PROMO, but you have to use the word of the week that one of the folks on the group choose. It's usually some outrageous, nutty word that makes all three of us owners go, "Lawd, what do they want from us?" LOLLOL However, it's been a FAB deterrent to excessive PROMO and hella FUN to work it into a PROMO.

You know those PROMO 'ho's as well as I do. I categorize them by degrees of 'ho-ness.

There's the if you talk about a blade of grass I can find a similarity in one of my books 'ho. You know, the one's who pop up on your group in the middle of a conversation about hangovers and begin with, "Hi, I'm Candy Writesthebestbookever and I know exactly what you mean about yarking after a good shitfaced night on the town. Why just the other day as I was writing my WIP , in chapter 2 gozillion, paragraph 20, I wrote about a similar incident my hero (OMG, he's so hot) had." All of a sudden, someone will post and ask a question about your latest addition to the literary world because they feel compelled to pretend to be interested.

That's the blatant PROMO 'ho.

Then, we have the more subtle 'ho's.

The, no, you don't mean me? 'ho. Take for instance Susie TellmeofmygreatnessanddoitoftenwhileIfeigndisbelief. The author that pops in once or twice a day and if someone has mentioned their work of art, they say, WHO ME? Nahhhhh, you don't mean MY book was fantabulous, superbly written with perfect character arc and so much heat it could melt plutonium, do you? And then, everyone jumps into tell Susie that she is, indeed worthy of their praise and she scurries off to return the next day for more ego stroking.

Then, there's the touched in the head 'ho who talks about her characters in her books like they're REAL LIVE people. Oh, my hero makes me write him this way. He sat me down and told me to do this. Why just the other day, I set a place for Jethro at the table and he, in all his hunky gloriousness had dinner with me.

Now, if you get the combo pack of Candy, Susie AND the psychotic 'ho--look the fuck OUT, cuz she's not only covertly sneaky, she's outright hookin' in her FMP's and tight leather mini skirt, hurling her genius in yer face.

It drives me INSANE. It happens ALL the time. Everywhere as of late. I swear, I see one author's name more than I do my own in my inbox. I know we writers are oft called ego maniacs, self absorbed, introverted, touchy, difficult creatures. Everyone blames it on our creativity gene, but Jesus effin'. What do genes have to do with being a walking, talking, posting e-mail advertisment?

Now, here's the skinny for me. Yep, I write books. Yep, characters have their place and sometimes, as I'm working they speak to me--ON MY COMP SCREEN. Do I think up dialogue and conversations in my head. Yep.Did my character suddenly develop a life of his own and become my second personality? Er, no and if yours does, I beg of you, seek help. LMAO

Do I talk about those characters all the time with every breath I take. Um, no. Do I want to shove my book down your throat so you'll go buy it. Um, no. Do I like praise as much as the next person? Well, shit yeah! Who doesn't? Do I need it 24/7. Nah and neither should anyone else.

What I really wanna do is hangout with ya. Cuz I like people. I like to know what makes them tick. I'm ever curious. I wanna hear about your kids, your dog, you house, your broken fingernail.

I don't want to hear about your delusions of grandeur, your hero's ripped ass or the latest world you built with the Lincoln Logs of your mind.

So, a tip from a not so newbie anymore to all the really newbies. Chill the frig OUT. It takes time to build a following of fans. Invite them INTO your world, don't ram it down their throats. Talk about something other than yourself. Create a sense of friendship versus customer equals sale. You don't ever have to buy or read a book of mine to come hangout with me.

Do I wanna sell books? Yep. Can I do that with a far more humble approach? Um, yep. Do I do that now? Well, I must cuz I'm still here. Am I tickled fuschia if you do buy my book and LIKE it? Yep. Will the end of the world happen if you don't. Um, nope. Cuz everyone has an op and that's okay by me.

I just wish it was okay by all the PROMO 'ho's. LOLLOL

Dakota :)


  • At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Pam said…

    Thank you for starting this but I gotta tell you, it's just the tip of the iceberg and it's a damn shame!
    The more a book is shoved down my throat, the LESS chance there will be that I'll buy it! Hell, by the time it comes out, I've already heard enough that I could probably tell it back to you!
    Thanks for being you, Kota and I'll kill you if you ever change!!! LMAO


  • At 8:48 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    See? straight from the horses mouth. Well, Pam isn't a horse, but you know what I mean. LOL

    Pam reads your books--don't make her wanna yark before she considers buying it!

    DC :)

  • At 8:51 PM, Anonymous Pam said…

    It's really true!! I don't mind excerpts here and there but enough is enough!! *sigh*
    Will anyone listen? Hell, no! LOL More's the shame!

  • At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kota, you don’t just invite us into YOUR world, you enter into ours. And you bring a bag of chips, grab a Pepsi, and settle into our recliners to stay a spell. You chat, advise, swap tales, and show genuine interest and concern for each of us. After a day or so, you aren’t “the author who has a board” – you become “the friend of ours who writes books”.

    And the hair product tips ain't bad, either!


  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LMAO, well, thanks, Fuzz, but this is about how YOU feel about PROMO 'ho's.

    Does it make ya nuts? Do you delete a lot of e-mail--skip it if you're reading from the board?

    Dakota :) Oh and please pass the chips. Tee hee

  • At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I deal with PROMO 'ho's the same thing I dealt with the topic - I ignore. Merrily skipping over their posts without a twinge of guilt.

    In a similar vein of sluthood, I take what I can get and leave - that is, I read their excerpts and then go on my merry way, ignoring their constant quest for validation. The first few Promo Pleads are amusing in a sick sort of way, but then that wears off quickly and I get tired of seeing adults play games.

    Here - M&Ms or popcorn?

  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Twas loverly. I do the same. Sometimes...

    Dakota :) Both, please. I like the red ones. LOL

  • At 10:11 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…


    ...and what really really annoys the promo ho's is when you sell more books than them


  • At 10:17 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    From a reader (As of last week I own over *1300* erotica/romance ebooks), I don't mind an announcement that such and such book is out this week (though I usually have bought it before I see the announcement) but the various promo mails and consistent
    "Look at my reviews!" from a few folks have caused me to set up my email so anything that says "PROMO" in the title is deleted and mail from a few authors that contains the word "review" in the title are deleted as well.

    I actually don't care what most other people or groups think of an author's work. I've liked both popular and unpopular authors before. My own opinion is what drives my purchases and while I do post my own reviews, I do it to give myself accountability and a goal and for my FRIENDS to read - they're probably the only people who will care what I thought!

    If there is too much noise on an author's loop or I see it too much on a shared e-list, I start to question whether I have any reason to stay on that loop. I don't join them to worship from afar in amazed adoration - I join them to get to know the author and their life.

    - end of rant -

  • At 10:32 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Niiiiice, Maura. See folks? Yet another READER.

    I don;t want to brag about being right. BUT I AM. LMAO

    Dakota :)

  • At 3:52 AM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    Dakota, I feel your pain, lol! I see it all the time, and I wonder where the perps get their gall from.

    It's not just authors though, rabid fan-girly readers can be just as bad.

    I wont mention the group list member who took it upon herself to try to recruit members on behalf of an author she 'absolutely adored'. No sir, I wont mention that she posted in multiple groups, that this author she 'absolutely adored' was holding a party if she got up to 500 members so please join asap to make the numbers up.

    I wont tell you that one pissed off group member told her to peddle her promos elsewhere.

    No sir, I'm not gonna tell you any of that. *g*

  • At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    LOL ladies...
    Dakota has such a way about her that she doesn't need to shout from the rooftops about her books. Those other authors reek of desperation IMHO and their emails are sent to the trash-heap ASAP.

    However, I would like to point out that when our beloved DC finally makes her mark at the bookstore, I will bet that she is a bit more visible - if only to meet her fans and chat a while.

    Kinda like RT - she doesn't need to have a table at the book fair cuz she has been holding court in the smoking section for a week...

    Can't wait to see you in May, babe! Are you bringing R?? Gary wants to meet him.
    Big hugs,

  • At 7:28 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    ~Smiles~, as always Dakota, babe, you've hit the nail squarely on the head. Did you hurt yourself?


    Oh good ~grinz~.

    I have to tell you, I laughed myself silly this morning reading your descriptions, you did it so well, darlin.

    Have a great day.


  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Pamk said…

    I completely agree. I had belonged notice I said had to several author groups and every week I got copies of two or three reviews or more that they had received during the week. I usually make up my own mind about books or I have good friends off and on the lists whose judgement i trust that recommend to me. I don't mind the excerpt of an upcoming book but don't shove so hard cause if you do I shove it right back back into file 13 that is

  • At 9:42 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    ooooh, PamK--what is File 13? It sounds like area 54. LMAO. Good on YOU!

    Michelle--well, what else did you expect? I think I broke a nail (pout) I mean, really...LOL Thanks!

    Karen--I would never, ever ask you to reveal your sources. Well, not publicly, anyway. LOL. Sometimes fans get carried away, but it's up to the AUTHOR to stop that kind of craziness.

    P--Thank you :) However, I do wanna say that I just love people and when I meet them for the first time, I want to know them, understand them, make friends with them. If they buy my book, that's lovely--THANK YOU. But I think people hang with me, cuz I'm no pressure to do anything other than hang. If they buy my book--it's purely to see if I can really string a whole sentence together. Curiosity and all. LOLLOL. And, YES, I hope R can come to RT. I'd sure love him to meet all of you :)

    Dakota :)

  • At 2:39 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Of course that's why we buy your books....just to see if you can string words together in some semblance of order...LOL

    I will cross my fingers on RT, Gary would sure like more male companionship in the smoking section....he said he got a real education, and I'm not naming names...LOL

  • At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Daria said…

    This is nice to hear because I hate internet promo. For ebooks, it mostly comes to down to non-stop chatting on lists and sending your reviews and excerpts to everyone who hasn't yet put your email in the black list. And I hate it when people do that, because all it does is eat up my bandwidth and end up in my waste basket, and I have a feelings others do the same to my posts.
    I'm doomed, though, LOL, because I like small talk even less. I'm not interested to hear about anyone's kids, pets, husbands, and broken fingernails.
    Damn. All I like is forum-based controversy and arguments. I need to start a new yahoogroup. Mortal Combat would be the name :)

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LOLLOL. Well, doomed is a harsh word, eh?

    At least you're not self indulgently doomed to inundate us with PROMO. Question is, do you want us to listen to you about your kids, hubby and broken fingernails? LOL

    Thanks, Daria!

    Dakota :)

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Hey, P! Well, R doesn't smoke, but I'm sure he and Gary can find something to yakk about LOL

    DC :)

  • At 4:38 AM, Anonymous Daria said…

    Question is, do you want us to listen to you about your kids, hubby and broken fingernails? LOL

    Not really, to be honest. I don't like talking about myself either. Now arguing about the state of the market, genre definitions, movies, art, whatever...LOL

  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I think you just like to argue, darling, no matter the subject--you're one of those folks that enjoys a good brawl. And that's fine. As long as you don't throw stuff and hit me. LMAO

  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    lol Karen - I know just what you're talking about

    ...and Dakota, the author was terribly embarrassed and had to follow along behind apologising.

  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger Bonnie Dee said…

    Thanks for this post. I really needed it. I am one of the newbies with the dreaded drive-by promo posts. I hate promo posting but as daria said I also hate chit-chatting on the loops. A lot! I'm just not into it. All I really want to do is write books and have people read them and be left alone. Bad attitude, I know. Spank me.

    But, the readers want to know the writers on a personal level for some unexplained reason (and I really don't get this, because I never think twice about what an author might be like when I choose a book to read) and while that's easy for a chatterbox like you, dakota, it's hard for me. What if you find you just don't have anything interesting or amusing to say? What if you don't have a bubbly personality and you suck royally at small talk? Can I dispense with trying to 'make a presence' at the various loops and just let the books speak for themselves? Please tell me I can. Please!

  • At 8:08 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Oh, honey, of course you can--if you want to sell 12 books.

    People want know who you are! It takes time and effort to get to know them. You're not in a bookstore where they can pick up a piece of you and hold it in their hands.

    You're on a cyber shelf--which is a much different community than that of print. You don't have to spend all of your time on the loops--just a little and you sure as heck don't want people to know you don't want to chat with them. Maybe someone who bought your book indentified with something in it and they want to share that with you. What kind of a storyteller would you be if you didn't chat with them about it?

    In the e-book world, no one will know you exist if you don't let them know you do. If you do, when release day comes, they'll go, "Oh, yeah, I remember her. Maybe I'll try her book."

    If you want the glory--ya gotta have the GUTS.

    I can't understand why it's hard to chat? Indeed, I may well be a "chatterbox" and yes, I'm interested in the people that buy my books, but saying hello and striking up conversation is about as easy as washing your hands.

    Somehow--chatterbox that I am, I manage to connect with the people who read my books and STILL write a novella a month. Have a boyfriend, raise two sons and live in a facsimilie of Graceland.

    That's why I'm still here, long after some have gone :)

  • At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Daria said…

    I've encountered the following on four different blogs within the last two days. Not sure if it means that everyone is in love with their editors, or a promo move.
    "I just wrote that book, it sucked big time, but my genius editor knew how to fix it, so I fixed it and now it's mind-blowingly great"
    Huh? Why publicly admit you wrote a bad book? Just to counter it with how great it became?

    About chatting -- I guess I just don't like to be the one who has to start the conversation. I mean, if everyone is interested in me and can't wait to interview me and wonder about my favorute designer and LOL... I can be as chatty as it gets. Besides, it has something to do with the online method. For some reason, I'm much more of a people person offline. Maybe it's because I have the kind of looks people call sweet, so despite being causic, I often come off as a 'nice' person, unlike the queenbitch I seem to be online :)

  • At 2:11 PM, Anonymous Daria said…

    and sometimes you just don't know what to say. A typical conversation on a readers' loop.
    (Reader-1) "Book X was soo hot."
    (Reader-2) "Yeah, and excerpt Y is even hotter."
    (Reader-3) "Yeah, Joe is gonna get pounced on tonight."
    (Reader-1) "LOL, yeah, my hubby loves it when I read author Z."
    (Author Z) "Thankyouthankyouthankyou, my next book S features his brother, an even hotter guy."
    (Reader-4) "Wow, hot. Gonna buy."
    (Author P) "Lookie here's a hot excerpt from my next book."
    (Author Z) "Nice one, lookie, here's mine."
    (Reader-1) "Hot!"
    (Reader-2) "Sounds really good."
    (Author P) "That's what Reviewer R said about it: "it's hot!"
    (Reviewer R) "Yeah, thank you. Loved that one. Gonna give five stars to the next one too."
    (Reader-2) "I wanna be a reviewer LOL"
    (Author Z) "My heroes are always hot."
    (Reader-1) "Yeah!"
    (Author-V) "Lookie..."
    What's a girl to say? :-)

  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, see, here's the thing. If all you want to do is have people talk about you--it might not work out. If you show interest in them, then you'll be far better off. If you're plain just not interested in the people who read your books, uncomfy with chatting, don't begin a group on that premise.

    Here's what you do if you just want to get your name out there--you start your OWN loop. We did and I can tell you for sure--we almost NEVER talk about heros or books. Check the posts if u don't believe me. We next to never talk about our books either because we'd bore ourselves to death. I write on average a novella a month. No one could keep track. Every once in awhile--we say, I just finished this, or I'm done in edits and then, we move on :)

    Of course, we don't talk about anything like politics, religion or stuff that tends to get out of hand quickly. YOu can have an op and that's groovy, but we don't want you to come out guns blazin'. We just hang out.

    If you find that those other loops talk about stuff you're not interested in--make one of your own. You can rant, rave, be politically incorrect, do whatever you please. IF it gets out of hand, you have YOU to blame and YOU have control to pull the plug when it does:) and it will, believe me. LOL

    You don't have to join anyone's group to do that. I don't know how many people will join...and I can betcha, the folks that joined our group didn't so much want to talk about our books as they wanted to just slack and relax.

    And YES, that sounds like blatant PROMO with the editor thing. It's just done covertly like we're not supposed to see it. I say, to each his own.

    And, if you're different in person than on the web, maybe you could find bookstores to sell your books at. Are u a writer? Do you have a print book? If interacting personally is better for you, that might work out. E-mail is subject to interpretation and can get you in a LOT of unwanted trouble, I'd suppose :)

    Hope that the choice you make works out!

    Thanks, Daria--yer growin' on me :)

    Dakota :)

  • At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Daria said…

    Ha, it already gets me into trouble. I'm known as a troublemaker on my publisher's loop. And in way too many places, lol.
    At the moment, I'm epublished (one novella out from Loose Id, short stories, a new book out tomorrow :) well not tomorrow, but this January)and no bookstores for me, because I currently reside in Eastern Europe.
    It's not that I don't want to talk about them, or with them, I just don't know what to talk about when there is no precise topic being discussed. When people are just chatting about hotness, husbands... See what I meant about small talk :) If you just ride in and start commenting, it will be rude, because, hello, did we invite you to comment on our marital life? :)
    I have a yahoogroup ("dariakarpova") in which I post excerpts, links to those short stories which appear online, and rant from time to time. For some inexplicable reason, it has 150 people in it. I wish there was a bug-eyed smiley face because I have no idea why they came :)

  • At 12:35 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Oh, cookie--you're makig this harder than it ever has to be.

    Don't glide into a conversation that exists. Begin by saying, Hey, I'm Daria and I write for Loose ID. It's a pleasure to meet you:)

    We talk about all sorts fo stuff on our group--you should come say hello. Though, I'd bet you wouldn't much be interested in what we talk about. LOLLOL. We talk about our kids--whether you drink Coke or Pepsi and the weather. We don't much talk about hubbies. Though, I do talk about R, my honeybunny. The girls on the group and here on my blog were a huge part of our story. So if you pop in, expect us to say hello and throw you into the fray :)

    And I'm very familiar with Loose because a friend of mine owns it. Love Treva :)

    Dakota :) who maintains Daria is growing on her LOL :)

  • At 11:50 AM, Anonymous daria said…

    Just came back online :) Thanks for the invitation--and I'll try the hello next time :) But you never said which list it was :)

  • At 1:04 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Sorry, here's the URL :)

  • At 8:58 AM, Blogger Marianne LaCroix said…

    Ya know what, Dakota. You need to quit a bunch of YahooGroups and save your sanity. I did that last month and it is amazing how lovely life is. No promos.


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