Friday, January 27, 2006

Emema, anyone?

The Cleanse.

Heard of it?

It's kinda like a major enema. It's this all natural, fasting way of cleanings your intestinal track (sp? tracht?). Anyway, it's a new fad and R's got a friend who gave it a shot. She raved about how energetic she is and stuff as a result of it. It's kinda like cleaning house with your innards, I'd suppose.

Now, I've fasted in the past. I've done just water for a week or so and that was okay. I'm not a big eater, so it didn't kill me, but this, well this is something I'm not sure I'd be up for.

So, R's gonna give it a whirl. He's got a lot of intestinal issues, among one is gas. Not the noxious fume kinda stuff, just a bubble in his chest all the time. He's always got a belch at the ready and he thought this might help him.

So, this cleanse thing--it begins by weaning you off of meat and solid foods, then, you drink a lot of sea salt water and lemon water, followed by pure maple syrup and cayenne pepper or something like that. I'm not sure of the order and don't quote me. Go look it up. It has something to do with Zen, or Buddah, or some spiritual guide I didn't get to read about because I was sickly drawn to the pictures of what your body has gunking it up.

Supposedly, you feel like a new person.

After the pictures I've seen, I think you actually shit a new person. Or one that was hiding in your bowels and you didn't know about it.

R and I looked it up on the Internet. I saw pics of stuff that was pretty yucky. Collanders holding stuff that comes out your other end. All I know is, if you have that junk in you--you have too much rope in your diet. LOLLOL

However, it's supposed to clean out all the gunk that clogs up your colon ect and make you feel energetic, refreshed.

R's going to give this a shot. He began a couple of days ago. Yes, my junk food junkie is in essence, going to fast for 7 days. That means no Sonic, no Whataburger, no KFC, NO ICE CREAM (see that, honey? NO ICE CREAM).

I can't say what this will be like for a man who wakes up in the niddle of the night and eats spoonfuls of chocolate fudge from a jar.

Yet, I support this effort to clear out his colon. Everyone should have a clean colon, yes?

I think I may have to support it from afar because I think it might be much like a man experiencing birth with none of the cute shower gifts and flowers afterward.

R thrives on his junk food. It's only since we began dating and he's rediscovered fruit and better things to eat than hot dogs and greasy fries. We're in the please each other state of innoncence -- you know, the one where every breath you take holds great importance for your mate? And so he'd call me up and go, "Hey, Bun. Guess what I'm eating?" I'd coo and say, "Aw, Honey. You're having fruit or a salad." See me preen.

I'd do the same. I've tried to eat more than one grape per day to make him happy. LOLLOL. I forget to eat, so I go without. If I moved around in my job more, I'd be 25lbs. My metabolism is pretty good still.

So, R is going to cleanse. I'm going to lay low while he does and not invite him for dinner unless lemon water, followed by a shot of maple syrup is on the menu. LOLLOL

I'll let ya know how it goes. I'm hoping he's more engergetic, cuz ya know what that means, dontcha?


Dakota :)


  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Maura said…

    hmmm - sounds like no fun to me but I hope R gets what he wants out of it. And so do you!


  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    ROFLAO - yuck

  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Yuck indeed. LOLLOL

    DC :)

  • At 4:04 PM, Blogger Angela James said… sounds really icky. Are you sure he's sane? Who does that willingly? lolol

  • At 4:44 PM, Blogger Paige Burns said…

    I've heard of ppl doing this before and they've had crayons and toy soldiers come out of thier ....

    You'll have to keep us updated on what things R played with as a child then decided to play Godzilla and eat it!

  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    ROFLMAO@ Paige. OMG--you berry funny lady. LOLLOL

    DC :)

  • At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Erin the Innocent said…

    oh ick.

    boys are weird

  • At 9:56 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    So, I have to ask. Is it the actual cleansing that is eweee, ick. Or is it the way our loverly Dakota described it?

    Either way, I'm so not doing this.


  • At 3:37 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Count me out!
    That sounds beyond gross....
    just like that whole colonic stuff they do out in Hollywood.

    I have had one enema in my life and that was one too many.

    Hope R makes it through ok so he can go back normal.

  • At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh yeah.. I'm doing this because it sounds fun. LOLOL I can think of nothing more fun than not eating everything I love for a week.

    It's a long and drawn out theory of what it's supposed to do for you, but if I works out I'll let everyone know. I'll take photos and EVERYTHING.

    Maybe I'll find that set of house keys I lost a couple years ago.

    ~R - The Gross Champ

  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    There will be NO PICTURES. I repeat, NO PICTURES.

    I love ya, honey, but I don't wanna know where your house keys are :)

    DC :)


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