Saturday, December 31, 2005

An "R" Guest Blog THE GRUDGE

Ahem, please note that I didn't say a word about this particular subject R is blogging about in my Xmas with the R's blog. I chose to take the HIGH ROAD, despite the unbearable pain I suffered -- the trauma I incurred -- the unbelievable shock and heartbreak.

I mean, I am, after all, an ex beauty queen. We know how to smile through our tears...LOLLOL

So now, I offer you, R and his MOST necessary guest/suck up blog--seeing as I DID Nano him and all, I do believe this is entirely appropriate. LMAO

Oh, and by all means, DO tell him how utterly scarred for life I plan to be. Tee hee :)

THE GRUDGE--By R (suuuuuck up)

Happy New Year everyone! After the whole christmas at the R’s, I thought it might be a good idea to throw down another guest blog. Today’s subject: Holding a grudge.

So, Bunny and I are hanging out at my sister’s house, and by-and-large having a great time. It’s Christmas time, there’s lots of snow, and Bunny’s charming the hell out of everyone in my family. Well, there’s only one thing that’s less than perfect. You see, I got the hell out of Michigan because I HATE winter there. It’s gray, it’s cold, I hate scraping my windows every time I wake up… it just plain sucks in my humble, but always correct opinion. (… see me be a man, here. LOL)

So, this particular morning, after a couple days of the joys of winter, I was, admittedly, a little cranky. And my Bunny, ever the snarkmeister, says “It sounds like someone has their Michigan state of mind going today!”.

Now, I know she’s just teasing. But, hitting me with a Michigan remark is just dirty pool. So, I decide to take a walk on the dark side and without much serious thought I blurt out “Oh yeah???? Well those pants make your ass look big!!!”


Okay… I’ll pause for a moment here so you can all gasp, and get out your “OH NO HE DI’NT!!!!”


In hindsight, that was NOT a smart move. And frankly, at least once a day since that day, my beautiful, svelte, wonderful, stunningly beautiful Bunny makes sure I regret it. I totally meant it to be funny, but there are some things even the snarkiest woman will not find funny. I seriously crossed the line, and no matter how far I run back the other direction, it seems I can’t seem to get back on the right side of it.

So, I thought I would use this public forum, full of all her friends, fans and other interested (and biased) parties to formally apologize. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. My family knows I was wrong. Her family knows I was wrong. Her boys, god bless ‘em, even know I was wrong and gave me the “Oh no.” with that scared look on their faces that really drove the point home that I was THIS close to death.

I’m sorry I referred to my Bunny’s ass as anything other than the glorious bottom half of the classic hourglass figure she so elegantly graces my presence with. The only thing that could EVER possibly make her butt look big by comparison is perhaps a peanut… or maybe a walnut.

I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was wrong.

~R – The Former Snark Champ

P.S. Thank you for the glorious Nano, Honey. :) :) :) :) :)


  • At 9:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sorry.

    ~R - The Humble Champ

  • At 10:15 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…



  • At 11:12 PM, Anonymous Sheryl said…


    I'm glad you're not dead.....yet!

    But I have to agree with Jaynie!


  • At 11:30 PM, Anonymous Erin the Innocent said…


    VEY!!! even.

    I'm so shocked R!!!! You have some MAJOR sucking up to do mister!!!

  • At 2:55 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LOLLOL--I knew my girls would come runnin' :)

    However, he does contrite with such panache, eh? LOL

    I know you're sorry, punkin'. I promise not to linger for too much longer on the subject. Not a lot anyway. LOL

    DC :)

  • At 3:09 AM, Anonymous paula said…

    She may not linger on it....but she will hit you with it again in say.....six months.....LOL

    You apologize quite nicely, R. Be sure to follow it up with an appropriate offering to the goddess.....

    Glad you all had fun.
    (PS I agree about the snow, R, that's why I live in Fla and not still in Cleveland.)


  • At 5:41 AM, Blogger Angela James said…

    Well, the real question here is: Dakota, DID your ass look big in those pants? Because we all know, some pants do have that unfortunate side-effect ;)

  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, yeah, but hellloooooo--I'd never buy pants like that. I'm an ex BQ. It's unheard of. Snort

    You traitor, you. LOLLOL

    DC :)

  • At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My Bunny's ass would NEVER look big. It's artfully sculpted barely visable in dim lighting. It's almost as if her glorious figure has remained as it was when she was 20.

    Sometimes, when you look at her butt, it's so amazing I swear it's like angel's wings caressing your eyeballs. You can't look away, and in the far off distance you can hear coyotes howl. It's truly a religious experience.

    ~ R - The Humble Nano-Equipped Champ

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Angela James said…

    I'm in awe of R's ability to grovel.It's truly amazing :)

    And I'm not a traitor, I just thought R could use someone grounded to bring you back to reality. lolol!

  • At 1:30 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    He's good, huh? LMAO

    awwww, honey. Okay, all's forgiven. I'll never, ever mention it again. Snort.

    DC :)

  • At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Erin the Innocent said…

    angel wings caressing your eyeballs??


  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    ROFLMAO, Erin.

    DC :)


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