A Nightmare and a Nano I-Pod in a Pear tree

Lawd almighty--who knew these damned things were so freakin' popular?

I can tell you, I sure as hell didn't. I had few choices on what to get my man for Xmas--he loves Motocross and all electronic gadgets. Short of a flat screen plasma TV, my choices were few.

The obvious choice was the Nano I-Pod. The newest version that's so tiny, you could make earrings out of it if you had a pair.

Good luck finding ONE, never mind a pair.

So, a week before I'm due to go to MI with R, I go to Best Buy. I've wracked up some serious rewards points and I want a Nano with them. I skip on in there, not a care in the world and ask for my Nano. Well, apparently, so did the rest of the universe just ten minutes prior to me. All 100 of them were snatched up in a buying frenzy.

Hookay--that's fine, just fine. I'll go to Fry's. Again, unaware and blissfully ignorant, I ask for the Nano...The nice sales boy looks at me as if I've asked him what aisle ovaries are in--er, no Nano. I'm starting to wonder if this thing is like the Holy Grail. I've never seen anyone with one, but I hear a lot of talk about it, I know it exists. It's becoming almost biblical in myth and proportion to me.

But still, it's okay. I can go to Comp USA. Surely there, I'll find a Nano.

HAH!

No Nano.

Now, from each of these stores I've been told that regular shipments are coming in, they're just sporadic and you should call and check each day to see if some have arrived. So I do that. ALL FREAKIN' WEEK LONG. I call faithfully everyday and ask if new Nano's have arrived. Towards the end of the week, I even began to play a game with myself and I would call in ten minute intervals and use different accents to ask about the Nano so they wouldn't think I was the same person, stalking them. Each call it was the same.

I am laughed at, taunted, mocked. Sure, they've arrived and gone-- slicker than snot runs out of a kids nose.

My editor brings up a good point about mid-week. Why not try the Apple Store online--well, yeah, why not? Duh. I felt like a total stupidhead. So I do. Try the Apple store online, that is and they are shipping in TWO weeks from time of purchase. I'm TWO days from going to MI. This is no good. Yes, I could get a rain check kinda gift and R could have had it when he got back, but I don't want to do that, she whined. I want him to be able to play with it on the plane on the way home...

The day before we're due to leave, I call Best Buy again and this time I say, "Who do I gotta blow to get me a Nano?" Cuz really, I'm willing to offer sexual favors at this point. This Nano quest has become like an Indiana jones type adventure for me and I'm going to kick the temple of Dooms ASS.

Um, no. No, I'm not kicking or blowing anyone or anything. NO NANO. There were times when I would get the heads up from them via phone call. We just got some, they'd say. I'd rush over there, only to find that other's who'd near camped out in the store had beaten me to them.

I am NOT HAPPY.

So I give in and buy R a gift certificate at Best Buy for the amount of the Nano--with tax included so he's not banged for it at the time of purchase.

Fuckers.

However, it beats nothing, yes? he can get it later when we get back from MI. I'm defeated, deflated, disappointed, but not dead.

Later, on the very day I give in and buy the gift cert versus the real thing, R calls.

and it went like this--"Hey, Bun! Guess where I am?"
"Hi, honey! Where are you?"
"The Apple store."
"Er, really? And what are you doing at the Apple store, punkin'?" Sonofabitch. How dare he go to a store I didn't know existed, is what I'm thinking.
"I'm looking at the roped off area with all the NANO'S in it."
Okay, so now, I'm rolling around on the floor and biting my tongue--fighting the urge to knock the phone against my desk in exasperation and in the midst of my hissy, I wonder if he's going to buy a nano. I swear on all things Apple, I'll fricken' KILL HIM. However, I maintain and gather my fury, tuck it away and say, "Really, honey? How interesting..."
He tells me he really wants to buy one--I shudder and bit my lip because if he buys one, I'll see him in the bowels of HELL.

R shares that he'd love one and it's tempting, but he did just buy a new mini motocross bike and he's shot his wad for awhile.

PHEW--see me sigh in relief.

However, why didn't it occur to me to look for a damned Apple STORE in the physical sense, rather than online???

This from a woman who stalked the evil Internet empire better known as Yahoo, found someone to answer her questions, insisted they fix my problem and beat the system.

I truly am what an enigma is all about. I'm an odd dichotomy of resourceful, yet pathetically not in the know.

OY

R has his I-pod now. He ended up using some Xmas money to buy it because Best Buy STILL doesn't have them and he's going to buy all the cute chachkie's that go with it with his BB gift cert. He bought the damned thing at the Apple store.

Nontheless--he's been Nano'd by me. Now that's LOVE :) I see a very nice sweater, I'm kinitting myself in R's Xmas future next year. LOLLOL

Dakota :)