THIRTY-NINE and clinging

I can tell ya, it beat the shit outta turning thirty. Tee hee :)

Okay, so I had a FAB day yesterday and this is my public testimonial to said FAB day.

First, I was dreading ze birthday--something BAD (like Jerry Springer freak show bad) always happens on my birthday.

Something sorta bad did happen, but not daytime, sling the mud on national television bad. My Maria had to quit to get a full time job. I am sick with grief over it. However, her friend Linda may replace her if she can make me smile even just a little in the way Maria did.

But it's okay.

So, just before I went to bed the night before my birthday--I stayed up writing. When midnight hit, the e-cards came pouring in. I was genuinely smiling before I went to sleep and keeping my fingers crossed R wasn't going to tell me he was in love with my mother and they were moving in together, thus leaving me without a sitter and a main squeeze. LOLLOL

I get up yesterday and grab some coffee, then hit the cyber trail. My inbox has exploded. Literally thrown up all over cyber-dom.

The lovely ladies on our shared group have come out in spades to wish me a happy birthday. Plus, I have some more cards from fans and reviewers and all sorts of folks.

Wow--I feel like the prom queen. Well, truth be told, I was once the prom queen, a couple of times, but it wasn't nearly this much fun. Oh, and I didn't have to tease my hair.

Then, R calls and sings happy birthday to me. I assume he hasn't left me for my mother because her luggage is still in the closet. LOLLOL. He does this rendition of happy birthday that sounds like a combo pack of Robert Goulet/Wayne Newton and Elvis. It makes me crack up.

The group has gone off--they've now begun to indulge in how many hours Dakota has been thrity-nine and various cracks at my age. I got poems, more cards, phone calls, stuff in the mail, more e-mails and more phone calls.

I gotta say, it was GREAT. I wasn't much looking forward to the ole birthday, but yesterday was really a lot of fun. Who knew so many people knew who I was anyway? I KNOW my buddy Michelle didn't have that much greenback to pay folks off to be nice to me.

I did know, I have a great many friends who aren't ashamed to wail me a time or two. LOL

Last night, R calls and asks what I want to do for ze birthday. I can do whatever I want. I tell him, if it ain't a trip to Vegas and dinner with Barry Manilow, I don't want nuthin' :) He appeases me and laughs. LOL. I tell him, I don't want to do anything but hangout--do what we do best--which is snuggle and watch some movies.

R gets to my house bearing gifts.

He brought me motor oil. LOLLOL

He did. Then he gave me my REAL gift.

A shiatzu.

it's a thing you put on a chair and it massages you.

Oh, baby. This thing is crazy HOT. R hooked it up for me in my office and I gotta tell ya, I think I've found my new soul mate.

I've named him Bjorn--in honor of a good Swedish massage therapist.

Jesus effin' this thing ROCKS.

I plopped my butt on it and didn't want to leave. it's got pretty lights and buttons... see Dakota oooh and ahhh.

HEAR her ooohh and ahhhh because it massages her aching shoulder and neck if she scrunches down far enough. If it could snuggle, I'd dump R and hook-up with this thing. It sure talks less than he does. LMAO. I'm kidding. I LOVE R--I love my new shiatzu too.

In fact, if it will sit at the movies with me, R can be replaced. I'm kidding, honest.

Oh and he gave me a card that had me ROFLOL. it wasn't sappy or anything. It had a kid picking his nose on it. R knows that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING grosses me out more than a nose picker. He used that to his advantage. it cracked me UP.

So, Bjorn and I are now a couple. He touches me in a way no other machine can. I'm sitting on him as we speak. He's teasing me with his magic motor and tantalizing my senses at the press of a button.

Happy Birthday to me, eh? LOL

Dakota :)