Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Sleigh Bells ring...

know what that means? It's Victoria Secret time!! Panties, PJ's, silky undergarments, bras, shoes, jeans, cocktail dresses, sweaters.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee doggie!! I was so damned happy when I got my catalogue in the mail today, I near did a cartwheel. The only thing preventing that is, I'm OLD and it hurts.

So, VS has a Christmas catalogue that I wait each year for with, sweat on my brow, heartbeat at rapid fire and CC in hand.

YES! I am a 'ho for Victoria. I love, love, love almost every last thing they have. I have a ginormous, ridiculous amount of their panties, not to mention tons of thigh-high nylons, garters, the IPEX (OMG--this thing is amazing) and that isn't even the begininng of the nighties, silk pj's, cocktail dresses and clothes I own.

VS should hire me just because I gotta be in their top ten for customers.

Okay, so that makes me sound like a spoiled princess. Ask me if I give a ratts butt? LMAO

I don't care. I love them and I'm not ashamed to say I do. I would sell my soul for the lacy underthings to the devil himself. I don't wear them to impress anyone (snort, if you saw me in them, you would NOT be impressed) I don't wear them to tempt R (wiggles eyebrows). I wear them because they make me feel ALL GIRL.

I slept in them all alone and STILL felt sinfully sexy. Well, except for the drool stain on the black, leopard silk pj's when I wake up. That's NOT so sexy :)

So, I flip open the glossy pages of this very pink and black VS catalogue. It thrills me no end pink is in, cuz it's a good color for my fake Autumn palette. I say fake, cuz I ain't really an Autumn. I'm a winter, but with the help of Ms. Clairol 222, I'm an Autumn. I pay little attention to the long, lean, toned, smooth bodies that are wearing the underwear. I care little that their legs are making their eyeballs float because they're so long. I care even less that I'm definitely not stick-like and I have a very realisitic view of what this stuff is going to look like on me.

I'm not much into body types. I'm curvy, no doubt. Not fat, not skinny, more hourglass. I don't have huge hooters, but I got 'em. I'm a size 9, sometimes a 7 if the denim Gods see fit. I don't get upset because all VS has is skinny chicks with flat bellies and long, flowing hair (okay, I have the hair. LOLLOL), pert boobs and tight butts.

Really, that NEVER bothers me. I never think, "wow, wish I could look like that in those jeans" I kinda know I won't. NOTHING on me is pert anymore. I have plenty of tropical, southern getaways on my body. I don't care. I look at this VS stuff and know exactly where I stand.

I look at the sizes too and it kinda tweaked me. I'm a med, most times in their stuff, but why don't they have plus sizes? I've heard the complaint before. I can't wear a VS bra because it doesn't come in my size...Hmmmm. I was way disppointed by that. ALL of my bras are VS and I'm a fairly average bra size for middle America. But the average dress/jean size for a woman in the US is 14.

Where are the size 14 dresses in the VS catalogue? Where are the plus size PJ's and panties and sweaters?

Is it a hardship to make them in plus sizes--or is VS saying that these are the sizes we call desirable in a number. Our clothes shouldn't be worn unless you're a 36C and a size 7.

This took some of the joy out of my shopping. What if I gain 40 pounds and I still want to wear my VS. I couldn't because they don't have the sizes I'd need. I workout. I do my Pilates of death, but say R and I break up and I'm soooooo distressed I stress eat? I won't be gettin' another man with my VS panties if I can't buy them in my size.

That disappoints me. Now I feel pressured to remain a size 7 or 9. I don't much like that and the VS catalogue, though still crazy hot with stuff, just doesn't seem as much fun.

Dakota :)


  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger Cheyenne McCray said…

    You're right, Dakota. That is just so wrong. I was a size 16 most of my life (let's not even go to the higher sizes) and now I go back and forth between an 8-10 but I still look like crap in the skimpy stuff. (Having children will do that to you.) It's just *wrong* to not have the higher sizes!

  • At 10:57 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Hey, babe! You know what sucks most of all--they could be making a ton of money on plus size stuff. What smart conglomerate wouldn't want to?

    Makes no damn sense to me. I love their stuff, but I wouldn't be so in love if I was a size 16 and you never know if that might not happen to me. Maybe we should picket naked to get their attention. LOLLOL

    Dakota :)

  • At 12:26 PM, Anonymous paula said…

    Thanks hon, for taking up for us "bountiful" babes.....sniff...

    I too would love VS if I could wear the damn stuff. I must console myself with the best bras on the planet - Cacique at Lane Bryant. Cuz nothing holds up big girls like these bras. Comfy in all the right places, you never even know there is a wire in there..

    They used to have plus in their catalogue but never in the stores. So it intimidated the women who would buy it, and they stopped ordering, and now it is unavailable.

    Have they looked outside lately? There aren't too many Tyra-banks lookalikes in my neighborhood.

    Love ya!

  • At 10:06 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Know what's even funnier? Tyra looks a little doughy compared to the rest of them. I'd commented to Travis about it because he really likes Tyra.

    If you put them all together, Tyra looks like the plus sized model. I gotta give her kudos for not turning into a size 2 like the rest of them. She looks attainable to me, ya know? Not so skinny she's like a gazelle, not bulging. Just curvy and well put together.

    I'd never much paid attention before because I like curves, versus sticks, but I sure did this time and I was sorely disappointed by it.

    Wanna petition them? LOL

    Love you back,
    DC :)

  • At 9:03 AM, Blogger Paige Burns said…

    I bemoaned the day I realized that my two monsters, er, wonderful boys were the reason I could no longer wear VS. I don't even think working my tail end off I could get back to a size small enough to go back to their wonderful bras! Those boys better appreciate their life when they realize the sacrifice I made to bring them into this world!


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