Monday, September 05, 2005

The Wedding Date

I rented that this past weekend. My buddy/twin separated at birth by cryogenic reproduction (AKA Erin) suggested it. LOL

I gotta say, I'm not a Dermott Mulroney fan, however, this was really sweet.

Like an eyeball cavity, ya know?

K--so I have a wimpy, sappy, hope against hope side to me that no matter how hard I try, I can't tame. I LOVE a happily ever after. I don't know that they really exist, but I believe anyway. No matter how hopeless it seems. I LOVE romantic comedies and I genuinely don't think they get their recognition in quite the way they should. You can be deep and dark and angsty about almost anything if you try. But to laugh? To make people laugh--that's really a cool thing.

Nontheless, I LOVE to laugh. I love to smile and I love to see others smile. Nothing makes me happier. So my genre of choice for movies is mostly romantic comedies. Reviewers call them fluff (me too, I think. LOL), but how can you hate something that makes the corners of your mouth turn upward in a smile? How can you resist that damn warming of the fringes of your heart? How can you resist wishing that stuff like everlasting love really can happen?

For me, it's an hour and a half that I can dream of all the stuff we, as a whole, hope for in life. In partnership, in finding someone who fits us like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle, in finding that one person who wants to know you inside and out and then, still wants you anyway. That one person who enhances what you already have and makes what once was, seem less bright. Real or imagined--it's what I tried to believe I had in my marriage, found out I really never felt like that, hit the road to discovery and wound up here.

I will NOT tell you where "here" is and no amount of torture can make me. Neener, neener, neener. LOLLOL. I will say, I have a much different perspective on the goopy stuff I thought existed in the minds of only dreamers--the stuff you hope to find and live out your days on this planet with--the emotions that bring with them, security, fulfillment, happiness to the very depths of your soul.

I've seen it firsthand and while some skeptics may say it doesn't exist, I'd beg to differ. It gave me hope when I divorced. That maybe--just maybe, I'd find it too, but if I didn't, I was okay. Some people spend more time convincing themselves it's right, when it's oh so wrong. I wasn't willing to do that again, ever.

Maybe, by some cosmic joke, the bad stuff had to happen in order for me to really understand, feel like I deserved to find the "right" person. I only knew that I'd watched it in my friends marriages. My editor Sheri's marriage, my friends Kate and AK and I wanted that too. I wanted someone to look at me the way their husbands looked at them. The look that says, no matter the woman, no matter how fabulous someone else might be, she'll just never be you. Sometimes, when I'd see my friends together as a couple, it hurt my heart because it was that genuine, that palpable, that tangible. It also made me eternally grateful that they had husbands who loved them in a way no one else can. It meant that they were truly happy and I, in turn, was happy for them because there's nothing that pleases me more than knowing my friends have happiness. They taught me a valuable lesson as I observed them. They taught me that the ebb and flow of their lives together wasn't about taking from the other person--it was enhancing it.

Loving someone doesn't have to mean giving up who you are--what you want from life. The person who loves you wants for you to succeed--in whatever you choose to succeed at. They actually want you to find stuff that makes you happy, aside from them and indulge in it. However, at days end, they also want you to share the days events with them--no matter how bad, snuggle with them, validate them as they will you. They want you to grow with them--they, most importantly, want YOU to have personal growth. It's trust personified--a trust deep enough you can let go of past hurts, betrayals and learn to trust again. It's faith and the freedom to just be.

It doesn't mean trying to fit the mold that broke long ago. It doesn't mean walking on eggshells and shutting your yap when what you really need to do is vent. It's the good with the bad. It's doing your own thing sometimes, but still finding things to do together--wanting to do things together. It has nothing to do with obligation and everything to do with a kinship unlike any other. Yours uniquely as a couple and what you cultivate it to become.

I've watched and learned much and last night, after watching The Wedding Date, it brought what I go on about up above to the forefront of my thoughts.

it also reminded me--I'm a sentimental schlepp. LOL

Yep--I'm the queen of all things happily ever after. There isn't anything I love to do more than get lost in someone else's idea of romance on a big screen. Love songs are a HUGE weak point for me too. I can sob with the best of them over a good love song.

Yep--that's true too, I'm a cryer. LOLLOL. Give me a Bud-Light commercial and I can find something to cry over it for. I HATE that part of me. It makes me feel weak and exposed for the sentimental sap I am. There's nothing cute about a red eyed -- puffy nosed Dakota. 'Tis ugly indeed. LMAO. However, I have a part of me that cannot resist the sticky sweet stuff. The stuff that ends with "I'll never leave you. you make my life a better place. I can't live without you --I'd go on, but it just wouldn't be the same."

So I watched The Wedding Date and I have to say--it was way cute and it made me tear up. It's about a woman who hires a male escort to go back to England with her to attend her sister's wedding. She wants to make the jerk that dumped her a raving, jealous lunatic. There are a few twists and turns that weren't earth shattering, but surprised me a smidge. Dermott did this hot scene where he shows the chick from Will and Grace what he does for a woman when he "escorts" her, without ever touching her. It was all in his whisper--his body language--what he did to her mind with his words.

Whew--it was good. There was this one line that really had me too. Dermott tells the Will and Grace chick, "I'd rather fight with you than make love to anyone else."

Hellllooooo--how romantic, huh?

Anyway, after this War and Peace blog--what it all boils down to is this--The movie reminded me I have a rip roaring case of hope for the good stuff. I think I always have.

Rent the movie--maybe you'll see what I mean :)

Dakota :)


  • At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Erin The Innocent said…

    See! You should watch more of what I tell you to watch (even if you call it an eyeball cavity) yeesh!

    btw I'm happy for you now that you've found something/someone special :)


  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Angela James said…

    I'm not sure, but I think this blog is still kind of about Rob ;)

    And since Erin is your twin, I'm guessing that means you love her best and Jaynie is gonna be mad wit you ;) (troublemaker, who me?)

    Oh and ahhhh.... (about all the rest of that schmoozy, girly crap you wrote)

  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Erin? Did not either say any such thing. LMAO

    Angie? Shaddup--this was about The Wedding Date. A very hope-filled, sappy, sentimental movie.

    ANd I do not love Erin best--I love ALL of you--PITA that you are. LMAO

    DC :)

  • At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Erin The Innocent said…

    Did you just call ALL of us PITA's? because I'm really NOT one. You must have been thinking of Angie or Jaynie when you typed that.

    ~Erin (Dakota's favourite)


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