Friday, August 05, 2005

Jaynie, Jaynie, Jaynie!

Thought we'd lost her there for a few moments in cyber hell. I'll tell ya, it was a scary "babe" moment and I can't afford many of those because I'm fricken' Methusalah (did I spell that right?) OLD. My heart just has no room for apoplexy.

This treacherous saga of freaked out began two days ago when my buddy Jaynie was nowhere to be found. I thought, okay, maybe she was taking a small break from the loops and she was attending to hubby and babies. It's a rarity that she doesn't make an appearance in babe-ville, but I was okay. A little shaky, but still, OK. I'd remembered she'd had some tooth trouble and figured maybe she'd gone to the dentist and was drugged or something, thus, unable to e-mail me or the group.

Day Two--Where the hell is my kiwi and why hasn't she posted to our group? This is dreadfully unlike her and I'm not happy. Fearless leader that I am--my mind begins to wander to places it just shouldn't go. I mean, I am a writer and in a nanosecond I had her in a hospital, in some far off remote region, with some non-English speaking doctor (all sweaty and demented), hovering over her with a pair of rusty pliers, yanking the tooth she was troubled with. Meds were few and far between (it is a remote jungle location, after all), she'd had an infection that seeped into her brain and she was hovering on the brink of DEATH while some whacko cackled maniacally, perspiration dripping from his dirty lab coat.

Needless to say, I was feeling some panic. LOLLOLLOLLOL. So, like all good babes do--we put together an all out search. I've mentioned once before that when a babe is missing, we make it our mission to LOCATE her/him. I need to remain calm in light of the fact that they call me fearless leaderover on the group. I share that title, but the other two fealess chicks were unavailable. Ain't that the way in a time of crisis? Oy--Vay-even. LOL. So we pool our resources and send out feelers. Hell, I hit up the head editor at her pub where she edits and BEGGED for her phone number. I care not that she lives in the land down under--I'm calling her ass and making her fess up to her MIA status and she's going to LIKE IT and if I find out that she's just toying with me--I'll fricken' hop on the first flight to Crock-land and KILL HER. LMAO

Then, like manna from heaven, I get an e-mail from my friend Jaynie, via her hubby and it says that her comp has crashed.

Well, for fuck's sake--that sounds nothing like the scenario I'd whipped up in my head. I mean--I had the babes at the ready in my mind, napalm launchers in hand, jungle attire (color coordinated, of course) and boots on, going in to save our friend from the evil Dr. Nutso.

To say that I was relieved is far too understated. This whole cyber thing can be scary. It means you rely on electricity to maintain your friendships with people who live half way across the world. it means that if you lose that electricity--or Internet connection--you are RUINED. Mostly folks don't exchange numbers and that made it far worse because I had no clue how to find my kiwi, but I'll be damned if I didn't call in every favor, think every scary thought, actually BITE my nail over it. NO good ex BQ ever bites her nails. EVER--it's sacriledge, I tell ya.

Jaynie's fine and not toothless. I fully intend to get her phone number whenst next I "speak" to her so that I don't suffer a thousand deaths the next time a comp crashes. Nonetheless, I made an important discovery in this--I love my kiwi and a day without her snarky presence in it-- is like a day not worth even contemplating. LOLLOLLOLLOL

Now fix that damn comp and get the hell back where you BELONG! LMAO

DC :)

7 Comments:

  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Angela James said…

    she is going to LOVE this blog :)

     
  • At 8:54 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    LOLLOL--OY--she scared the hell outta me :)

    DC :)

     
  • At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ROFLMAOPIMP

     
  • At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Erin The Innocent said…

    She scared me too! I thought hell would have to freeze before she voluntarily wasn't online without notice (apparently it takes a frozen hell or a computer death)!

    She is going to love this blog Dakota :)

    ~Erin the Innocent

     
  • At 9:44 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Damn well better love it too, cuz if she tortures me like EVER again about screwing up a PROMO and owing her a book--I'm going to find Dr. Nutso and hand her Aussie ass over to him for the hell she put me through. Then, I'll hold her down while he yanks that tooth with the pliers I rolled in the dirty soil of Venezuela in snake puckey. LOLLOL

    God, I HATE when one of the babes goes missing. Crimeny. LMAO

    DC :)

     
  • At 11:22 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    ROFLAO - OMG that is so funny. I tried to let you know sooner but Q had ze meetings all day and wasn't in the office to type up the email.

    It's nice to know I was missed - thank you.

    So I guess we all know that this means you still love me the bestest *snerk*

     
  • At 4:47 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Quit makin' trouble for me, my kiwi. Just watch and see if Angie doesn't piss and moan about THAT statement. LOLLOL

    Now get off my blog and FIX THAT COMP!!

    DC :)

     

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