Sunday, July 31, 2005

Must Love John...

...Cusack, that is :)

K--so everyone that knows me, knows how much I love John Cusack. While everyone was mooning over Jon Bon Jovi and Scott Baio in the early 80's, I was hot for John. Everyone thought I was nuts, but his wise ass, laid back, "tude" had me from HOLA. He's not a pretty boy by any stretch of the imagination. I've never been a big supporter of guys who need more mirror time than I do. I don't like suave. I like flaws, I LOVE humor (soooo goes without saying) and I like guys who aren't rippled, sculpted perfection. They're peachy to eyeball, but I can't summon up the energy to remind them to take their protein shakes and steroids at regular intervals. I don't want to share my hair gel and I will NOT sit by my man whilst he has his toes prettied up. It's wrong on more levels than I care to count. Thus, men like John make me verklempt.

In essence--I LOVE JOHN.

I first saw him in a movie called Say Anything and I fell in total love. Oy--he makes my heart do a half gainer off the back wall with his one liners. I love him, I adore him, I'd leave my children, family, house, and yes, my brand new boyfriend for him.

As matter of fact, we have an exclusionary clause in our relationship, the B/F and I--should John show up and wish to whisk Dakota away for 24 hours--I can go. Free and clear--no questions asked. Carnal pleasures of the flesh for 24 hours abound, baby.The boyfriend has this clause too. Should Shania Twain arrive on his doorstep, hair extensions flowing over her pert hooters, leather pants sprayed on, perfection personified--the boyfriend has every right to put his boots under her bed, he can make her feel like a woman, win her love, and impress her much for twenty four hours and I'll ship him off with a smile on my face and a go get yer woman attitude.

Hoo rah, baby :)

yes, you've now seen this HERE--it's documented in the written word. No backing out. NONE. I can take my licks with the best of them and if giving the boyfriend to Ms. I have no flaws Twain is the way to have John OMG Cusack--I'm going to see if I can't find out who her hairdresser is--connect--make friends with the Goddess via product and work him into her schedule between flawless classes 101 and how can we make my ass tighter? 222.

So, John has a new movie, which the boyfriend has dutifully said he'll take me to. He made this promise before we did this walk down B-F/G-F road. We were due to go on Friday, but he had a late conference call and he was tired. So, being the good girfriend I am, I told him we'd skip and just hangout at my house, she said between clenched teeth as she gnawed her tongue to a bloody stump. LOLLOL. I did have an inane moment where I thought I might ditch his ass and go see it myself, but I figured that would be bad girlfriend ettiquite in light of the fact that we haven't even had a one month anniversary. So, I passed and watched Hitch instead with him. Cute flick with Will Smith, but NOT JOHN.

John is EVERYTHING I'd want in a character in one of my books. He's A-#1 on my list of possible actors to play a hero in one of my books. He's funny, flawed, a smart ass, quick, smokin' hot in a very goofy way. He's not chiseled or overly buff. He's not smooth in the typical leading man way. That's just what makes him SO FRICKEN' HOT.

I'm going to see his new movie Must Love Dogs with that 'ho, Diane Lane. LMAO. I'm willing to watch him slurp her just to see him too. I can overlook his temporary insanity at not choosing ME to light up the big screen with him. I don't know what my agent was thinking when she choose to ignore his calls. LOLLOL The movie is about online dating--the way the B/F and I met. Of which, I too, wrote a book about and thought I was an utter genius with my fresh, original ideas. I've gotten past the heartbreak in finding I wasn't alone in my genius and someone beat me to the punch. I wasn't even writing when this chick wrote the book, Must Love Dogs. I was writing a hella grocery list, though. I'm going to let it slide and forgive and forget. I'm also going to forgive John for starring in this traitorous movie-- because he knows not what he does. He knows not Dakota and the magic that is HERS ALONE. It's okay. I can live with his choices. Had he known I, the one liner queen to his king existed, I feel sure as I do of the nose on my face, he'd have come through for me and offered to like help me sample the hot scenes in MY BOOK in an effort to be sure we were on point. A test run so to speak on my 24 hour exclusion :)

Nonetheless, if the B/F breaks a leg--hurts himself in a tragic Walmart, fish and game aisle accident--needs a lung transplant--I don't CARE. I'm going to see John Cusack tonight. With or without his ass. Tee hee :) I can love whatever John wants me too, too. Dogs, reptiles, liver and onions.

I'm THERE and I intend to spend every one of those 90 or so minutes soaking up the eyeball candy that John IS, while I curse the idea that this writer beat me to the online dating book finish and that John is going to paw Diane Lane.

Oh, and I'll hold hands with the B/F while I do it because I'm all comitted and stuff. LOLLOL

I'll let you know how it is and if that tramp Diane Lane can hold up her end of the John Cusack bargain. LMAO

Dakota :)

10 Comments:

  • At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Erin the Innocent said…

    *snort*

     
  • At 11:09 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    tissue?

    LOLLOL

    DC :)

     
  • At 2:31 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    lol - we each have 4 people on our sexceptions list - you gotta hold out for more than just John *g*

     
  • At 10:47 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Shoot, Jaynie! I should have gotten you to do my negotiations. LMAO

    DC :)

     
  • At 7:45 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    my DH has Julia Roberts on his exception list. I used to have Mel, but he is not aging so well and I have to re-think my options..

     
  • At 7:50 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    WHY the HELL aren't I on the exclusion list? ROFLMAO

    DC :)

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Anonymous anna said…

    I just love reading your posts - I always get a good chuckle out of them. I also happen to share in your love for Mr. Cusack, so I can appreciate every wonderful (and true) thing you said about him. I would have made him my exclusion too if it weren't for Mr. Al Pacino.

    Hope you get to cash in on this exclusion deal some day. ;)

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, thank you, darling and I encourage ALL exclusions--even Al. LOL

    Thanks for posting :)

    Dakota :)

     
  • At 6:55 AM, Anonymous Paula said…

    Oh darling - you aren't on the list because our lists are limited to people we don't have a hope in hell of ever meeting, let alone shagging... Gary has met you and been dazzled by your presence. He grins everytime I mention your name...then shakes his head knowingly. He did remind me that Demi Moore is still on his list despite her penchant for younger men....perhaps I should take a page from her book - I do like Orlando Bloom....LMAO
    P

     
  • At 7:31 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    ooohhhhhhhh. Okay, I feel better. LMAO. Tell Gary I smile whenever I think of him too--he's my man :)

    DC :)

     

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