Monday, July 18, 2005

Da Fuzz

Alrighty, so I have this friend and she was having a really tough time of stuff. Organizing her life with children, balancing hubby, household ect.

Been there, done that. In fact I invented "been there" because I was just back to "been" myself. I was having a great deal of trouble keeping up. I live in a house the size of Graceland (okay, I'm exagerating, but it IS big) and two sons. I'm a single mom, so no hubby (everybody say AMEN), my mother, my two dogs and two cats.

I write full time--I share a group of friends and fans with two buds of mine and other various things that are too much to list. Anyway, I was swamped. The more swamped I became, the more I withdrew.

My office faces my big entryway. I have a hardwood floor in there. It's FAB, except when it's got tumbleweeds of hair blowing over it because I didn't clean it.


That's how distracted I was. My sons, my mother, who's off firing landscapers like she's the Queen of Sheba, my writing, my life, were all just distant, abstract images, like those paintings you have to squint at to really "get".

In essence, I was fried and tons of stuff kept piling up and I kept ignoring it. I had no routine, not a care in the world on planet Dakota.

I couldn't go on. The more overwhelmed I became, the less likely I was to take charge of anything. I drifted on my white, puffy cloud of ignorance and my house, writing and sons were falling apart. So was my landscaper Paco--or whatshisname.

I was in general ready to give up the ghost, but I have a really good friend who is always around, whom I never have to actually tell I want to slit my wrists with a butter knife, she just knows.

So, she makes me tell her what's wrong--she makes me identify the problem in compartments, rather than a scattered mess of crap. Then, she sets about attacking each issue like a fricken' pit bull, but she makes me help her do it.

I recognize her technique now. She's a counselor and one of the best people I know. She's someone who dedicates her life to someone else's children and it's a rare gift she bestows upon me when she doles out the advice.

She gave me focus--ideas on how I could set about making a schedule, planning in advance for some things. Hiring some help to get me OUT of the mess I was in and back to the business at hand.

Finding center--focus--my CHEE, baby :)

We call her Fuzz on the loops and she's one of the single most giving, loving, patient, dog with a bone type persons I know and I'm forever grateful that as a fan, she began just helping me out with stuff for the kids to do here in TX, yet, ended up one of the biggest influences in my life. Not to mention a really great friend. She understands the way my head works and she doesn't even care that to understand me, is to more than likely need to seek therapy during the course of our friendship. LOL

She grounded me when I needed an anchor. She knows that I'm going to see her technique for what it is and acknowledges that I will. She opts to ignore that with a vague cyber nod, then she plunges headlong into the mess of swampy shit my head is. Neck deep. No boots. Theory and mission at the ready.

Then, she makes me own up to my shit in the nicest way possible. By taking my hand and coaxing me--explaining to me that all the external stimuli I was experiencing was resulting in my withdrawl. My--"so fricken' what if there's mold on the front of the fridge" attitude.

Good damn thing too, cuz I can only hope the cultures come back negative from CDC. LMAO--I'm joking, but I might not have been far off the way I was going.

She helps me find solutions by merely suggesting I can. She doesn't solve the problem, that's up to ME. She only guides me to Mr. Clean's house :)

That brings me back to where I began. My friend. She was struggling and I can hear that cry for a freakin' life raft like nobody's business. So I lent a hand.

I did what da Fuzz taught me and in turn, shared with another friend those same lessons I'd learned.

Today she said she was feeling much better--that she had finally found some sort of order in her world and our conversations had helped.

That wasn't me really helping per se--I was just being supportive. It was, however, me passing on the friendship and goodwill of my friend Fuzz. Her thoughts, words, suggestions helped me to regain my focus--I just did what she taught me.

To pass on a valuable lesson and I did.

Those very lessons, taught by someone who's become very dear to me, helped someone else who's also very dear to me and that's what it's all about.

It may not mean much to most--but, it does to me. It may sound kinda gushy, sloppy, but ask me if I care?

It came full circle today and that's sorta a Dr. Phil moment, yes? All defining like. An end to a cycle that's detrimental and the beginning of a new one that's healthy and thereby, extends growth. I kinda understand how being a counselor may have some shitty days, but the end justifying the means also happens too. When you have the ability to share yourself like that, with someone else who suffers, major or minor issues--it's a rare, nigh on extinct gift. It certainly has to play with your own center--yet, somehow, she manages to be just that.


She's one cool lady and she didn't just drop me off at Mr. Clean's house for a playdate--she let me invite my good friend too. I think we're going to have like window cleaning 101 for snack. LOLLOL

But I couldn't have done it without her and I'm not ashamed to say so. So thanks, Fuzz. Word gets around, cuz it's my big mouth spreading it and if it helped my friend--maybe she'll share the wealth with someone else in their time of need.

Wouldn't that be cool?

That's the good stuff you can only come by if you're as lucky to be as blessed as I am in friendship. I got a boatload of it and I'm always going to want more passengers. I'm always going to be thankful for the ones I already have.

Life truly IS good.

Dakota :)


  • At 1:45 AM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    Well I guess I have to thank da Fuzz too then. *g*

    She certainly taught you well.

    Thank you so much for all your help, you are a wonerful generous person and I appreciate everything you have done for me.

    I hope one day I do have a chance to pass on the wisdom.


  • At 5:29 AM, Blogger Angela James said…

    Ahhh, that was a great blog entry Kota, I want someone to feel that way about me cuz I just got warm fuzzies and stuff from reading that. Thanks for sharing the love!

  • At 11:01 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, ladies, all I know is this--you are my friends--I cherish that no matter how much I tease, taunt, terrorize you.

    There will never be a time that I won't want to recognize that--indulge in it--find time to cultivate it :)

    DC :)

  • At 5:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank goodness for friends! We all need someone to pick us up at times and help with the organization of our lives or someone just to be a voice in the night or a hand on the shoulder.

    This was a wonderful blog entry, Dakota.


  • At 12:33 PM, Blogger Samantha Reynolds said…

    Ah...Fuzz is the BOMB, man! How come all she ever wants to do is pawn off her kitties to me? What am I fancy feast? Yeesh!

    That's cool though, talk about paying it forward!!! Now who is gonna come over here and help me out? Huh? Speak up cause like I can't hear ya and stuff...*snort*

  • At 7:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have I mentioned that I feel as if I'm the lucky one?
    ...and Sammie? I still have two kittens needing homes....


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