Can you say COCK?

Snort.

Sooooo, been blog hopping--which I most assuredly should not be allowed to do. It takes up far too much of my gray matter. I am sickly fascinated by the wars that occur on blogs. They don't just happen on the Yahoo groups anymore, baby.

The wars are much the same as they've been in the past. Same old silly-fest.

It goes like this...

I write romances--they're brilliant. They are works of pure genius (if I do blog so myself), created with depth, stellar emotional growth, interesting characters that suck you in, astonsishing acts of intricate POV and love, love, love. Oh, and NO SEX. Well, wait...they have SEX just not the kind that uses the word COCK.

And then, lo and behold, the battle rages over the sex and degree of heat that should be allowable in a romance novel. The mainstream authors flip a nut because the erotic authors are taking over the world, or at the very least, making the RWA meetings a whole helluva lot more Texas in July like. They claim we erotic chicks don't portray any of the above touted qualities. They claim we write sex for sex sake.

Shoot--I know I write sex because it sure beats the hell out of Jello-O wrestling, but whatever.

Point is--how has this gotten so distorted? The mainstream romance writers are feeling the pressure because the likes of authors like Angela Knight and Kate Douglas are taking over the freakin' WORLD and they're doing it without wailing the mainstreamers. They're doing it with respect, kindness toward your fellow proser (is that a word? LOL), a friendly attitude and they're doing it to the tune of NY, baby.

Do the hustle.

I don't know about you, but it has to say something when former EC author Angela Knight is in every fricken corner of the romance industry and the Brinks truck is surely backing up to her door. It's inevitable she's doing well, given the fact that she's on the Amazon bestseller list like so much we should just name it the Amazon/Angela Knight bestseller list. She's a GENIUS. Hellloooooooo? Angela Knight writes the hot stuff--so hot in fact, ya need oven mitts to buy her books. I'm telling you, B & N MADE me bring my hot mitts just to buy her book. It was like a mandatory thing at the time of purchase. LOLLOL Just wait until you read Kate Douglas' stuff. Holy in need of a locker full of ice.

Angela is a friend of mine (I swear on all things Haagen Daas. LOL) and I've watched this rise to fame happen virtually overnight. She must be doing something right, no?

YES!!! Yes, yes, yes. She doesn't just write the hot stuff--she writes a helluva a fan-freakin'-tastic book. However, her love scenes don't involve candy and flowers. Well, maybe they do, but after they get done munching on that candy--they have, raw, nekid, nasty, hot SEX!

Her books have all of the elements the mainstream folk claim they do too.Except she uses the word cock.

COCK.

Watch--here's a couple more...okay--like five :)
Clit
Pussy
Cunt
Juices
Creamy

So what? I'd suppose if those words were sex for sex sake and so offensive, a bazillion folks wouldn't be stampeding their way to the bookstores like her books were the last box of Godiva on Valentines Day--now would they?

Those mainstream audiences are looking for something "more" in their romances. Is this wrong? Is it naughty to want to read about sex? Masters and Johnson didn't think so...

So why is it a big deal? What's the beef here? I'd dare anyone to say that I don't write a book that contains all of the stuff they claim is critical to a good romance novel. Maybe it isn't written to their tastes in terms of character development (cuz, I am e-pubbed, ya know. OY), editing, whatever the case may be, but it most certainly DOES have a romance.

My books are 100% friggin' monogomous. Yes, indeedy. My characters are in love by the end of the book and they had some sort of conflict to get them there. The only diff being--you don't have to just peek in the bedroom door. I'll invite you in myself, hand you the flogger, vibe, egg, whatever, and hope that you feel all hot and sweaty when you have to help me put the hinges back on the door. I describe it. I describe it A LOT. I get down and dirty wit ya. I depict oral gratification, baby, in it's naughtiest form. Penetration, masturbation, you name it-I write it. I also use the word COCK.

Cock
Cock
Cock

It isn't your fishing pole of love, nor is it your hard, aching, throbbing rod of steel, encased in your boxer briefs. it's a COCK. I don't use dick at all, some do, but I don't. Just preference. I use pussy too and I don't mean the Fancy Feast kind.

I depict the relationship between two people falling in love and then, I depict the fruition of that love. Most times that involves SEX. I choose to use frank language. I opt to make it realistic. My heroines don't have 20 orgasms in a row. My heros don't have COCK'S (see Dakota giggle) that swing low Sweet Chariot. I write what I know, or what I hope, if God is good, to know someday soon. LOL. I also write for the giggle. I love nothing more than to hear someone has laughed while reading a book of mine. That's more important than hearing how hot it was, but I won't deny, I love writing the sex.

I also don't deny that this mainstream/erotic war is out of hand and a feeding frenzy of uprisal is occurring quite possibly, because those tamer authors now feel the pressure to turn UP the heat. I can also tell you, I was turned down by a NY pub because I'm an EC author and they wanted to know where the HELL my heat was before page 50 :) They loved me, think I'm a HOOT. Where's the heat, Dakota? Ask my agent if it isn't true.

Hmmmmm...

I don't pick on all of you shaft of love writers. Why do you pick on me and my COCKS? What is your problem exactly and how can I help you to get the HELL over it so we can get on to the business of catering to the folks who read our stuff. You write for the folks who want the tame stuff--I'll hit up the wilder housewives. I'm down wit dat.

Blog me. Tell me what the issue is? Why can't I be a part of the RWA? Because I use the word COCK in the midst of all of my witty repartee?

Well, hell then.

COCK
COCK
COCK.

Dakota :)