Wednesday, June 29, 2005

A list is still a list

So I have this super good friend that had some list trouble, and I won't put her name here because doing so would just make this a place to come play at being mouthy about a situation that could be avoided if common sense were used. We all know in RL ya wouldn't consider saying the stuff you do in cyber space. Don't tell me ya would either, cuz some of you are truly of the meek and mild and you've found a voice in the cyber black hole called Yahoo groups.

Cool, now use it wisely.

Unless you're me--I WOULD say the stuff in RL that I say here because I'm all about honesty and I try like hell not to be an ass in cyber space as much as I do in the real world.

Yeah, I crack wise--yep, I'm the quintessential one-liner queen, but I never hurt anyone ever. I know people and how far they can be pushed--teased--tormented. I adore people, I've said that so much it makes my teeth hurt. I want to learn about them--understand them--make friends with them. I never want to see anyone be cruel or unkind for any purpose and I'm mostly about diplomacy. Honest, if more people were like-minded--we might bore the hell outta ya, but the world would be crap free.

That said, I just wanna rant here a bit.

Indulge me, K?

These Yahoo groups allow far too much contact with one another in a manner that sometimes is foolhardy and without thought to anything other than the pretty send button and sounding off, when under normal circumstances you'd skulk off and hide behind the water cooler if faced with controversy. However, shit happens and it doesn't have to turn into the third world war if someone makes a mistake.

Oh, but it does, because e-mail is empowering and it allows you the freedom to turn into SUPERMOUTH and today--it got me in my craw. Like a burr in my saddle--I'm pissed off and because I'm all diplomatic--I won't go rushing off to throw myself into the frenzied mosh of people who will surely jump on the bandwagon.

I'll just blog the hell out of it.

K-- why is it that when someone makes a mistake on a list, owns up to it, publicly apologizes for it are they then slammed (with some rather crass language) by people who are supposed to be called professionals?

My defintion of a professional is someone who expresses their opinions with tact, dignity and courtesy to their audiences no MATTER the slam they're given in ANY forum. What would make you think that calling someone a crude name is anything other than what it is--CRUDE--DUH! Certainly not professional.

And why is it that when someone makes the old faux pas--all the folks who have like nada nice to say in an e-mail and call themselves lurkers-- crawl out of the woodwork and spew venom? Half the time it has nothing to do with the 700 people who jump in, but they jump the hell in anyway.

Why is it that you can't take that crap and do it offlist? Because ya just gotta have an op and show yer ass about it--that's why. in front of people who will glom onto your every word. Crap that's so old. I really thnk sometimes it's just so you can feed your ego and see your own typewritten words.

But that's just me and I could be accused of the same thing here, but I don't much care because a friend of mine was attacked and that's just not ok. She said she was wrong--she shut up--to pummel her in a slew of e-mail and make her a public parriah (sp) on every list from here to Kingdom Come is professional?

Nah--that's taking the power of your words and abusing the shit out of it because it makes you feel superior. That's also, immature and incredibly insecure and I'd wonder sometimes if the people who are so vocal, are the ones who spent some time as wannabe prom queens in high school. Relegated to geekdom and now, as writers, behind a comp screen, where no one can see them, they have a modicum of control and it's turned them into Pinky and the Brain and they want to take over the world.

But when someone is hurt--called cruel names--picked on--ganged up on--you're just like all those freaks that picked on YOU in high school and that sucks, yes?

So take the big fat grown up pill and stop behaving like this is auditons for the cheerleading squad and you didn't get picked. Keep your op to yourself unless the battle is with you personally--and if it is--be an adult and have a war of words in your PRIVATE inbox and leave the public flaying OUT of it and don't pick on my friends--cuz it really pisses me off and that's not something that happens a lot to someone like me.


Rant over.

Dakota :)


  • At 11:44 PM, Blogger Jaynie R said…

    I am so glad you're on my side lol.

    What a fabulous blog babe - it's too bad that the people who need to see it probably won't *sigh*

    hugs hon - you're a fab friend.

  • At 4:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well said, Dakota!!

    And Jaynie, sweetheart, with people like that, no matter what they read they ain't about to back down. They can't apologize, but you can. And you stood up for me when I needed it. These virtues make you twice the woman these other people can only pretend to be.

  • At 4:50 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, thank you, darling :)

    I just won't ever understand the need to subjugate a list and degrade the first person you can get your hands on--it's childish and insecure and I don't know how well I said it, cuz I tend to crack wise, but I meant it. LMAO

    Thanks, D, for posting :)

    Dakota :)

  • At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Shiloh Walker said…

    Dakota, I can answer one of your questions... why do people feel the need to gang up, etc etc etc...

    it's because a lot of people really enjoy jumping on the bandwagon. I think it makes them feel... cool, for lack of a better word. just like so many of them picked on the nerd or the weird kid or the quiet kid just because all their high school friends did. It makes them feel more acceptable.

    They don't realize they just end up looking more like idiots.

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    yep, Shiloh--that's what I said--all of a sudden you're PROM QUEEN and the spotlight is on you. You can be the most popular bully on the Internet.

    'Tis a pity, eh?

    Dakota :)

  • At 11:06 AM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    I used to be on lots of Yahoo lists, but I soon discovered that less is more, so I now only ever bother posting on two lists, where shit like this NEVER happens.

    I used to actively post on one particular list, but there was a group member there, who obviously hadn't taken her medication for quite some time, and was quite venomous towards little ol' me. I of course did what any other right-minded female would do, I tore strips off her verbally, and went no mail on that group, and I'm currently living my life in relative peace.

    The fact is, the on-line world gives Dutch courage to those who otherwise would run and hide at the merest hint of confrontation in the real world.

    Horrible people are everywhere, and I'm afraid the internet, harbours some of the most gloriously f*cked-up people out there.

    If I was the friend, I'd leave said group to their bitchefest, and pray that the culprit's (s) rectum becomes a safe harbour for venereal warts or other similar afflictions.

  • At 11:22 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Ahhh, Karen, my Euro friend--you're RIGHT.

    'Fo shame is what I say. Hence, this is why we began the babes--because we don't allow controversy and we talk about lame stuff, but it beats the crap outta talking about each other and being mean.

    I've never had a single list problem--mostly because I ignore the whining and the chance to take a stab at people like they're animals in a cage. It just not worth my energy when we could be talking hair products, ya know? ROFLMAO

    That said now, I'm sure I'm due for a public flaying any second. LOL

    Thanks for da post, doll :)

    Dakota :)

  • At 2:17 AM, Anonymous Sasha said…

    OK, I admit it...I'm a lurker. I belong to quite a few yahoo lists that I occasionally hop on and comment. I obviously missed something cuz I have no idea what specific instance spurred this post...however, I have seen it happen, and I's childish, petty, and the reason women are called bitchs.

    ((Jaynie)) I assume your in there somewhere from this post and the one on your own blog.. I hope the fuss dies down and you feel better.

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger Mechele Armstrong said…

    I've seen stuff like this happen and it never ceases to amaze me. So many people say things online in RL they'd NEVER say. Makes me shake my head.

  • At 7:05 AM, Blogger Marianne LaCroix said…

    Dakota, you are a true goddess. You stated everything so beautifully. Thank you for being nt only professional, but classy too.

  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    Hey Dakota, I read the comment you left at the Common Kajira's blog, you are just so TOTALLY nice!!!

    I just asked her if she was for real. No tact and diplomacy whatsoever!!!

  • At 9:45 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    Well, babe--I'm all about learning stuff and what makes people tick--so I try not to judge--even if I don't agree with it.

    Did she answer me? I can't find what I originally posted to. LOLLOL

    Dakota :)

  • At 3:51 AM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    She hadn't answered when I last looked, dhe did answer mine though, in fact, she wrote a whole blog entry dedicated to respecting others and their life choices. I did ask her some pertinent questions, but her answers confused me more.

    I followed one of her readers (the alternative albany) who had a blog already, and he was a master with a predilection for young girls. Yech.

  • At 8:02 AM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I did the same and wanted to hurl. I'm sorry--I don't care if this is going to offend him, but children, of ANY kind are off limits. Period.

    I know there's the whole gender play and if two adults--over the age of 18 (which I still think is too young) want to call each other daddy and daughter--rock on, but NEVER, ever mess with a child and post it publicly to boot.

    I'm sickened and disgusted by this and I don't give a rats ass who knows it. This guy needs the FBI to take a peek at his life. I get the distinct impression he's doing things that are utterly and totally against the law.

    In fact, I'm going to blog about it :)

  • At 9:26 AM, Blogger Karen Scott said…

    Jolly Good Show Dakota.(g)

  • At 12:22 PM, Blogger Dakota Cassidy said…

    I think I just did the jolly good thing and know what? I care so little if it offends someone, that I care even less.

    I'm usually so non-controversial it's pathetic, but this is about CHILDREN. I can't speak, but I sure as hell can blog.

    Thanks, babe, You da bomb :)

    Dakota :0


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